Global Impact

Leading Through Grief in a Post COVID World

During the 1950s, Harry Levinson said “all change is loss, and loss must be mourned.”

The economic losses caused by COVID-19 have brought harsh realities: layoffs turning into terminations and financial limbo becoming the norm for many.

Yet, there are losses that lie deeper than financial calamities.

The losses vary in their scope and depth: some have lost loved ones. For others, days of the office coffee break and comradery are gone. Social events, whether a relaxed dinner out with friends or large family gatherings, have taken a step back. We’ve all lost our cherished routine. We’re all grieving in some way.

Leaders are Impacted by Grief, Too

Leaders are not immune to this time of grief, of profound change. As we witness those around us who are worn, weary and working on auto pilot, we too, are affected.

Denial is a common survival mode. For us to continue to be strong, bold leaders, we must move from denial, recognize the grief in others, and show empathy and compassion for those we lead – and for our own feelings, too.

For those around us that are hurting, we must take time to listen.

Really listen. Bring people together to share their stories, their feelings. And as a leader, affirm confidently that they will emerge stronger from this crisis – even if it may not seem so at the moment.

Unchecked Grief Can Have Profound Impacts

As a leader, ask yourself: Am I allowing for the mourning process in my organization?

Folks are numb with grief. Unchecked, grief can overwhelm the body. According to Marissa Levin writing in Inc., grief can cause significant physiological, neurological and emotional changes. Memory is affected – and it can be years before full cognitive abilities return.

Levin wrote of three professors from major business schools who followed the performance of 75,000 Danish companies two years before – and after – the CEO suffered a family loss. Their findings reveal the profound impact of loss and grief, such as at least a 10% decrease in financial performance following the loss of a loved one.

Additionally, Levin writes that grief can cause increased physical ailments and can even increase risk of a heart attack by 21 times.

Aaron De Smet writes in McKinsey & Company, “the prolonged levels of uncertainty and disruption will only add to the grief and anxiety that employees experience.”

Now is not the time for worn out, compassionless phrases like, “Time heals,” or “You’ll get over it.” Nor is it a time to judge others, either. It’s a time to come together to express feelings, losses and expectations.

“How far you go in life depends on your being

tender with the young, compassionate with the aged,

sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and strong.

Because someday in your life you will have been all of these.”

– George Washington Carver

Mourning the Losses and Moving Toward Healing

De Smet writes the grieving process helps us recognize and accept our emotions. But where to start?

According to De Smet:

  1. Limit denial. No one knows how life will be post COVID-19, so refrain from careless phrases like “toughing this out.” Be mindful of people’s emotional challenges: ask questions, acknowledge feelings. Set aside time for this for your staff – and yourself as well.
  2. Learn what people miss – and acknowledge it instead of taking a “just get over it” mentality. Have staff bring in photos or mementos of what they’re missing. One team found this reduced the sense of loss and created stronger bonds of trust.
  3. Combine empathy and compassion. “It’s not the efficacy of the action that helps, but the willingness and genuine intention to help or support that is key,” writes De Smet.

Levin also notes ways to move through grief: While they may sound simple, they are impactful:

  • Know that you’re not alone in your grief
  • Ask for – and accept – help

We must all give ourselves permission to grieve fully. Take time away from the business you lead to heal, for as Anne Grant so aptly states:

“Grief is a normal and natural response to loss. It is originally an unlearned feeling process. Keeping grief inside increases your pain.”

And, as most, if not all, of us have experienced, pain keeps us from being our most productive selves.

Sarah Deren in Fast Company writes that however hard loss is, by not sugarcoating it, resiliency is born. She urges leaders to recognize and acknowledge the losses your staff is experiencing and affirm that together, you can – and will – emerge stronger.

Leadership in a Post COVID-19 World

No one can predict what a post COVID-19 world will look like. We’re all experiencing an upheaval that is affecting each of us the same – but differently.

As a leader, by demonstrating compassion and empathy during this time, by designating a time regularly for your employees to share their grief and concerns, you can heal as a team and your organization can move from pandemic panic to post pandemic resiliency.

“Grief is in two parts. The first is loss. The second is the remaking of life.”

-Anne Roiphe

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Behind Every Crisis, New Opportunity Awaits Leaders

COVID struck the world with little warning.

There was no preparation. That’s the hallmark of a crisis: sudden, intense upheaval that disrupts life – or business – in every way. A wrong move could bring even more disaster.

Yet behind every crisis is a yet-to-be-discovered opportunity. Shrouded by the intensity of a crisis, new ways of doing business await the leader who through vision and holding, will emerge from a challenge – and be stronger from it.

And her resilience, her capacity to recover from the difficult times, will serve as an anchor when another crisis occurs.

“Any deep crisis is an opportunity to make your life extraordinary in some way.”

— Martha Beck, Author

A Great Leader Possesses Vision and Holding

In Harvard Business Review, Gianpiero Petriglieri explains the psychology involved in effective leadership during a crisis.

In his work over the past 20 years, each time he asks the question, “What makes a good leader?” responses from managers, students and senior executives offered the same response: vision. It’s an ideal people can strive for; it gives a sense of direction to follow.

But a true leader cannot rest on vision alone. During a crisis, many leaders take action, Petriglieri notes, but often flounder. What they need, he believes, is a type of holding.

In psychology, the word has a precise meaning: it is the way a person, usually one in authority, contains and interprets events taking place during precarious times. During the pandemic, a leader with holding reassures his team that the company can withstand the crisis, that jobs will be secure, and further provides strategies for developing new business in the future.

He cites a recent disaster: the BP oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. While some executives lost faith in the company, others reinforced their efforts and commitment. Despite the immensity of the spill, those who worked closely with their bosses and colleagues on clean-up efforts and heard upper management’s positive messages, were reassured. Their belief in BP’s integrity and future viability was strengthened.

Petriglieri summed up the benefits of holding:

“Being held as we work through a crisis… is more useful than being told how bright the future is.”

Powerful Leadership During A Crisis

For leaders, strategizing new business methods amidst a crisis requires thoughtful deliberation, but a pandemic adds the burdens of health and safety concerns as well.

Chris Nichols, Shoma Chatterjee Hayden and Chris Trendler wrote in Harvard Business Review that after conducting more than 21,000 leadership assessments among C-suite executives, their CEO Genome research team discovered:

To move forward in a crisis, four specific behaviors are necessary:

  1. Decide rapidly. Top leaders analyze information, glean what matters, and make decisions with confidence.
  2. Fearlessly adapt. Great leaders are not afraid to ask questions when needed or bring in expertise to develop new strategic plans.
  3. Consistently deliver. Ensure priorities are documented and review them frequently.
  4. Engage with your team. Check in daily, making sure to communicate on a personal level first – then focus on business.

Self-Care During Times of Crisis is Essential

Leaders are expected to take care of everyone and everything. Yet, making a commitment to self-care is vital: how can we take care of others if we don’t first take care of ourselves?

“An empty lantern provides no light.

Self-care is the fuel that allows your light to shine brightly.”– Unknown

While we’re expressing empathy for others, we need to acknowledge that we need empathy as well. A McKinsey & Co. article noted the tremendous importance of taking care of ourselves. And don’t forget the power of gratitude: the more gratitude we give, the more abundance we receive as well.

It’s also vital to take time to re-discover what we love. When we find ourselves feeling depleted, it’s time to divert, to do something we enjoy. Whether that’s finding a power spot out in nature or taking a brief respite in the solitude right within the office, do it.

McKinsey & Co. noted that because of the pandemic, many leaders are talking about their companies’ purpose and what they stand for. Sharing stories of how your company goes above and beyond during the pandemic lifts others up – and serves as an inspiration for all.

We tend to focus on the negative during a crisis. But for true leaders, there is a deeper realization that it’s time to do business another way…a better way.

“A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way.” -John C. Maxwell

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To Question or To Answer: What Does a Great Leader Do?

A common fallacy is that great leaders never have to ask questions – they inherently have all the answers.

But authentic leaders know that nothing could be further from the truth.

Impactful Leaders Realize the Power in Asking Questions

Jim Schleckser writing in Inc. compared a leader’s capacity to answer every question directed to them to that of a switchboard operator, trying to make the right connections to solve all the organization’s issues. And that, he says, not only limits leadership, but limits the organization’s growth as well.

Bold, impactful leaders know the tremendous power in asking questions. By asking the right questions, team members learn to strategize on their own to solve issues. And in this discovery, they strengthen their ability to figure out problems and heighten their self-esteem in the process: and that’s a win-win situation for growth and expansion.

“Good leaders ask great questions that inspire others to dream more, think more, learn more, do more, and become more.”

-John C. Maxwell

But there are times when leaders must ask questions – not only as part of personal growth, but of leadership growth as well.

And what are the common questions successful leaders oftentimes ask?

Most Leaders Will Relate to These Common Questions

As a Forbes Coaches Council Expert Panel wrote, there’s no shame in a successful business professional asking questions. Yet some leaders feel embarrassed and conflicted, realizing that others look to them for answers.

The Council discovered oftentimes many leaders question the same issues. Among the most commonly asked questions leaders faced:

  1. What do I do now? Leaders often ask this when their companies are flourishing, as they ponder the future.
  2. What do I need to change? Everyone realizes how difficult change is. Authentic leaders accept (and welcome) change when necessary to achieve strategic goals.
  3. Is it normal to feel like an imposter? Many leaders feel that others see inflated images of their abilities. Imposter syndrome is all too common.
  4. What if I don’t have all the answers? Appearing to have all the answers makes some leaders feel invulnerable. True leaders know they don’t have the answers to all questions…no one does.
  5. Is self-doubt normal? As the Forbes Council noted, all leaders have their own self-doubts – and think they’re the only ones who do. Not so. It’s a part of being human.
  6. How do I respond to sexist comments? Many leaders admit to being caught off guard and wish they had been better prepared.

Most leaders will be able to relate to these questions.

The realization that other successful leaders have the same internal dialogue may better enable us to reach out to others and share thoughts and reflections. The result? Deeper, more meaningful partnerships built on authenticity.

Creating Effective Dialogue in the New Virtual Reality

Whether it’s asking questions or providing answers, many regular face-to-face meetings have been replaced by a virtual environment as part of the new era of social distancing. For some, it’s an awkward way of communication.

Melissa Raffoni writing in Harvard Business Review notes that not only is it more difficult to ‘read’ people via on-line meetings, but distractions can easily pull people’s attention away in many different directions. All is not lost, Reffoni says – it’s a matter of requiring new skills, whether a bit of technical know-how or re-thinking strategy.

She offers 5 questions to ask as we lead in the new virtual environment:

  1. Are we being strategic enough?
  2. How up to date are our communication plans?
  3. Review employee responsibilities in the new virtual environment: some people may thrive online; others need more support. Are our employees thriving on-line? If not, what do they need to flourish?
  4. How well are we focusing – and communicating – about the big picture?
  5. How can we further strengthen company culture?

Raffoni quotes Michael Porter from “What Is Strategy?”: “New [strategic] positions open up because of change…new needs emerge as societies evolve.”

Here’s a tip: Not all questions need to be directed outward. Most impactful leaders realize the importance of self-reflection, of time spent alone asking ourselves key questions. This can be a deep, profoundly insightful way to learn more about ourselves and how we interpret our experiences.

We all realize now that there is a new normal in life as a result of the pandemic. What is that new normal? It’s a realization that there isn’t one. What a paradox, right?

Bold leaders realize that there isn’t just one new normal, ask meaningful questions, seek impactful answers, and through their resilience, adapt to new ways of doing business. Today, may we all ask the important questions to spark great change.

“The little girl who asks, “Why is the sky blue?” becomes the woman who changes the world.”

-Sheryl Sandberg

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Resilience is a Secret Superpower for Leaders to Navigate Adversity

The new year 2020 barely got started and suddenly the world was thrust into pandemic panic. None of us had been there before.

Our personal lives were determined by the new norm of social distancing and economically, businesses scrambled to meet demands that strained their resources. It was traumatizing.

And now, nearly six months later, we are getting back on our feet. We have faced that our old, cherished routines are history. We are tiptoeing into new territory.

And how we got through the tumult – and are continuing to adjust to our new lives – taught us an important lesson: no one really knows what is going to happen next. But how we adapt, how we survive and thrive, is linked to our resiliency, that ability to bounce back from difficult times and move forward.

“Life doesn’t get easier or more forgiving, we get stronger and more resilient.”

― Steve Maraboli

Resiliency: It’s an Individual Trait. And It’s Key to Leadership.

Leaders are facing unprecedented times as their leadership skills are tested daily…moment by moment, even.

Now more than ever, resilience is key to impactful leadership. How well we can navigate adversity – especially in these times – has lasting impacts on not only ourselves, but on the people and organizations we lead.

How resilient we are is tied to our past, the experts say. Eilene Zimmerman writes in the New York Times that every study done in the past half century shows that one significant factor impacts our resilience in life: our personal relationships, especially with parents and primary caregivers, and the quality of that bond.

Zimmerman quoted Boston University School of Medicine professor of psychiatry Bessel van der Kolk, who has been researching post-traumatic stress disorder for nearly 50 years. “How loved you felt as a child is a great predictor of how you manage all kinds of difficult situations later in life,” stated van der Kolk, who suggests the first 20 years of life are especially critical.

Leading Effectively During Challenging Times

Essentially, resilience is a set of skills that is often learned, writes Zimmerman. Professor emeritus of psychiatry, PTSD and Resilience at Yale University School of Medicine Steven M. Southwick explains that stress is not all bad:

“If you can cope today with all that’s happening in the world around you, then when you are on the other side of it, you’ll be stronger.”

-Dr. Steven M. Southwick

Leading is a privilege, writes Dede Henley in Forbes. And with the world still adjusting to the new world that the pandemic birthed, leaders need to navigate through the myriad of dynamics presented in this new way of life.

BOLD Leaders, This is Our Time to Shine.

Our resiliency will determine how well we can lead others through these demanding times. As Henley notes, people are looking to see how leaders react and respond. They are waiting for their leaders to lead by example.

According to Zimmerman, highly resilient people share common traits:

  • a strong moral compass
  • accept what they cannot change & focus on what they can
  • positive, realistic outlooks
  • belief in a higher power
  • have a concern for others
  • find a meaning in life
  • are part of a support system

In his research, Dr. Southwick found that many resilient people don’t keep banging their head against the wall – they accept what they can’t change and work to do what is in their sphere of influence. His studies with former prisoners of war found that despite their immense suffering, they went on to find new meaning in their lives.

To Lead BOLDLY in Unprecedented Times…

Henley lists his five suggestions for effective collaboration:

  1. Trust and respect are vital – especially during these times. Be available and empathize with what others are experiencing.
  2. Meet with your team and share your meaning, your purpose together. Explain your “why” to increase awareness of what matters.
  3. Learn by mistakes. Instead of judgements, make corrections and find even better ways to approach problems.
  4. Leverage the power of gratitude. Let your team know how much they are appreciated.
  5. Sharpen physical, intellectual, emotional and spiritual competencies. Observe the health of those around you. Intellectually, confirm the information and data you are given. Emotionally, don’t resist fear or unhappiness, both of which are natural and often, necessary to growth. Spiritually, discover what brings you peace & joy – and take time for that as often as you can.

The pages of our human history often note centuries of tragedies and difficult times. And yet, there are countless stories of hope and survival and new meanings.

The pages we are writing today will someday be in the history books. What legacy will your leadership leave?

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

― Viktor E. Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning

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Self Care: A Necessary Requirement for BOLD Leaders

Self-care. Many of us have heard that term so many times, we don’t attach any particular significance to it anymore.

Yet, in the wake of a global pandemic and the tumultuous times that have become our “new normal,” self-care is more important than ever before – for leaders, for those we lead, and for every single person in the world.

Self-Care Is Like a Healing Balm for the Soul

Unless we are dutifully mindful of ourselves, we can become ensnared in an “I have to do it all” mantra at work…and overly engaged with the digital world. We act – and react – to the world around us at a frenzied pace, often short circuiting and depleting ourselves.

Most of us have been in that frantic, frenetic and furious hamster wheel at times. And we discover we’re running as fast as we can – but getting nowhere.

“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.”

-Anne Lamott

Unplugging from it all – taking time for ourselves – is a healing balm for our bodies – mentally, physically, and emotionally.

Working remote? Back in the office? A little bit of both? Take a few minutes out to explore how a few simple self-care strategies can help us lead with greater ease, clarity, and confidence.

Just What is Self-Care?

Amy Jen Su summed up self-care in Harvard Business Review: “self-care is your relationship and connection to self.…it means that you’re attuned to and understand what you need to be your most constructive, effective, and authentic self.”  Self-care is more than just physically taking care of ourselves. It means maintaining and enhancing our whole being.

Really, self-care is about so much more than physical health. Su notes we need to pay attention to more of our whole selves – our emotions, relationships, and our mind. “Self-care flows from an intention to stay connected to oneself and one’s overall mission.”

Not practicing self-care and living with stress depletes us. Researchers David B. Ross, Julie A. Exposito and Tom Kennedy wrote in Stress and Its Relationship to Leadership and a Healthy Workplace Culture, that leaders under stress for an extended time can experience negative consequences, such as inability to make decisions, making emotionally based decisions, or lack of listening.

We must get over the idea that self-care is selfish. It isn’t. How can we be there for anyone else if we are not there for ourselves? And we must stop saying that we don’t have time for self-care. We do.

“Just when you feel you have no time to relax, know that this is the moment you most need to make time to relax.”

― Matt Haig

Achieve More as a Leader With Self Care

Erin Urban wrote in Forbes of a senior executive who discovered that when he let life pull him to the breaking point, it hurt his career. “You cannot give what you do not have,” he shared. “Fortunately, it didn’t take long to realize that investing in self-care allows me to achieve more as a leader.”

Here are some practical, actionable strategies to weave self-care into your workday – whether you’re working remote or back in the office – or a little bit of both…

A few simple suggestions by Erin Urban can start us on a self-care mission:

  1. Set boundaries. Learn to say no.
  2. Ditch the perfectionist attitude.
  3. Leverage the power of delegation.

Following those suggestions, Urban says to take time to refuel ourselves…

  1. Do one thing that will bring joy and recharge those batteries.
  2. Just breathe…become aware of the breath.
  3. Go outside, be at one with nature, take a walk.
  4. Practice gratitude and kindness.

Strengthen Leadership Through Effective Self-Care

The National Conference for College Women Student Leaders offers practical tips to strengthen leadership through self-care. Topping their suggestion? Getting rid of the notion that we can do it all.

And, perhaps just as important, learn to delegate. Delegating challenges our teams and gives us some free time to refresh and refocus…a win-win. Make sure self-care is a part of this extra time.

While a focus on the “we” is crucial to impactful leadership, “me” time is vital too. Try to take a brief time each evening, to relax and refuel. It can be as simple as just closing your eyes and concentrating on your breathing.

We can also emphasize gratitude – it is a gift that keeps on giving – the more gratitude we have, the more goodness comes our way.

This one is really important, especially in our new era of Zoom calls & a new, more intense digital connection. We must consciously choose to disconnect from the 24-7 digital world of news and social media and work responsibilities. Bask in the solitude, allowing your body the ultimate self-care it so deserves.

It is so important to take time for yourself and find clarity:

“The most important relationship is the one you have with yourself.”

-Diane Von Furstenberg

Solitude indeed is a golden gift. In the silence, we nourish ourselves. We learn about ourselves. We discover things that may have gone overlooked in the noise of everyday life.

Spending time in the silence allows us to return to our work refreshed, restored, having treated our complete selves to the ultimate self-care therapy: solitude.

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