role models

Women in Leadership: How to Transform the Long, Bumpy Side Road into a Smooth & Sleek Highway

“The most powerful leadership tool you have is your own personal example”
-John Wooden

Jacinda Ardern, Kamala Harris, MacKenzie Scott, Christine Lagarde, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Mary Barra and Angela Merkel are just a handful of spectacular souls changing the face of leadership. And, as much as their impact – and that of other dynamic women- has been proven and is desired, there is still a large gap in the number of women in leadership today.

Indeed, according to the OECD, less than a quarter of top leadership positions worldwide are occupied by women. This share ranges from about 16% in Africa to almost 30% in Europe, Latin America and the Caribbean.

While various reasons exist for this disparity, there is hope.  One way we can bridge the disconnect is through mentoring and positive role modeling.

 

For companies to get the talent they need in the fields where they need it, women (who make up half the population) will have to play a substantive role. And right now, they are not.
Sandra Sancier-Sultan and Sandra Scharf | McKinsey & Company

Learning From Life vs Learning from Mentors & Role Models

While we can learn a lot from books and the classroom, even more valuable knowledge is gleaned from experiencing life itself. And in business, what better way than to learn than alongside a mentor?

Mentors and role models can be a boost not only for business education, but they can also share the emotional and psychological burdens of boardroom atmospheres that often can often feel intimidating and overwhelming for emerging women leaders.

In fact, of the hundred or so top women leaders I have coached, their biggest obstacle has been taking up space in a male-dominated company or industry. In other words, feeling isolated and alone, they are challenged with stepping fully into their power and in so doing having a strong – and approachable – presence.

This male majority has been a phenomenon in nearly every organization I have worked with (and there have been quite a few!). Given this, the more we women can come together and lift each other up, the more we can see those numbers above rise.  Shared experience can be a strong bond.

“My role model didn’t tell me, he showed me.”
-Anonymous

The (Leadership) Elephant in the Boardroom

Lack of equality with men in top corporate positions has been a topic that has received a great deal of attention in recent decades, yet the issue still persists around the globe.

Perhaps it’s the elephant in the boardroom. Outside of their domain, companies profess to a commitment to hire more women, including women of Color. But when it comes to actual hiring, women still lag behind men.

While women’s presence at all levels of the corporate ladder showed improvement in 2020 says McKinsey, the “broken rung still exists: men are promoted at higher rates as managers over women, causing a lack of progress for women towards more senior positions. Women of Color lag even further behind.

Additionally, as aforementioned, women often experience being the ‘Onlys’ and ‘double Onlys’: in a room: they are the only of their gender or racial identity. That means working under a microscope, under continual scrutiny.

While the corporate workplace is not an even playing field for women, there are ways other women can help.

Social Support Networks Prove Valuable in Women’s Leadership

According to Insead, larger businesses are aware that social support is vital for women to work their best – and promote diversity and inclusion.

Examples of such support networks are:

  • Formal or informal mentoring and sponsorship: the ideas of being aware of our own impact and being there for each other are “advertised” and encouraged
  • Peer support: special interest groups (women in mining, women in tech, etc.)
  • Role models: more and more trailblazers becoming aware that their experiences, mindset and energy can most certainly benefit others

Mentoring programs…

Have been in existence for years, and research highlights evidence that informal mentorship and sponsorship to help women is especially effective.

Role Models…

Are just that- those in under-represented groups see others like themselves succeed. That leads to reassurance that they, too can achieve.  Role modeling becomes even more effective when these admired women leaders also become mentors.

Peer Support…

Provides an atmosphere of accomplishment: professionals who attended a for-women only networking conference were more likely to receive a promotion.

Whether it’s mentoring, peer support, or role modeling, they are all beneficial. Those that were free to choose their own mentor found greater value in it versus those who had no choice in their selection. From a coaching standpoint, this is obvious. Trust and fit are the top factors to any successful relationship – especially one where a person is asking another human for support.  It just wouldn’t work otherwise.  I have experienced coachees walking through some tremendous discomfort towards a way of being and doing that is infinitely more rewarding for them. And they never would have drummed up this courage had they not felt good in our relationship.

Sheryl Sandberg has often credited those who have mentored her along the way, describing one mentor as her ‘champion,’ and sharing that she received opportunities she wouldn’t otherwise have had.

Mentoring programs are a win-win situation for both mentors and mentees.

If there isn’t a formal mentorship program or competent female leader in your company who is a good match, look to the outside. Many trade associations offer mentorship programs. Check out WLMA, the Women’s Leadership and Mentor Alliance.

You may also find someone in a professional or community group.

Also, we at Authentic Leadership International are always delighted to hear from you and to be of service in any way we can.

Business Dictionary has some advice: “Observe your mentor’s behavior closely, especially how she reacts in stressful or difficult situations. It is important to develop your own leadership style but utilizing what you learn from a successful manager to mold your own behavior can be a good starting point.”

“When you see a role model, what you see is a person who has the courage to be who you wish you could be.
Stop wishing and just be.”
-Anonymous

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Kindness, role models

Why Genuine Kindness Separates the Grown-ups from the Children in Leadership

“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did,
but people will never forget how you made them feel.” – Maya Angelou

This quote, one of my all-time favorites, sums up the call we all have to be (genuinely) human with each other.  The genuine part means we’re not kind simply out of a sense of obligation – to check off a few metaphorical boxes of what we think is expected.  We’re not kind out of a sense of manipulation, just to get what we want. We’re kind because we genuinely want to be there for another person.  This means we have to let go of our protective armor separating us from others and just be good humans.

A recent Gallup survey revealed a startling statistic: only 45% of employees feel their employer cares about their well-being. That’s less than half.

Nearly two years into a global pandemic, there is no doubt that leaders and employees continue to face challenging times in their work relationships, heightened by the ever-present threats of COVID.

Kindness as a Leadership Strategy?

Back in late 2020, Boris Groysberg and Susan Seligson highlighted the unprecedented trials faced by leaders in a Harvard Business School article. And one influential leadership strategy had seemingly been neglected: kindness.

It is a time to think out of the box, for sure, to solve the complexities the pandemic has brought upon us.

But let’s not forget about each other in the process.
We cannot overlook a basic yet powerful principle that works wonders everywhere: kindness.

We’re all overwhelmed and stressed out – every single one of us, even when some might appear “fine.” Not one person walking this earth is unaffected.

Many of our employees are doubling up on work – not only working from home, but also homeschooling kids and playing caregiver roles to children and parents alike as well. Those with no support network may feel isolated.

Our cherished routines have been upended as the world tries to cope, yearning for some normalcy during a seemingly never-ending pandemic.

In the midst of such trying times, it has never been more important be genuinely kind to each other.

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” – Philo

Kindness: A Soothing Balm in Today’s World

In the hectic pace of life, we sometimes overlook the simple – and wonderful – power of kindness.

Why?

Because it is so simple. It’s not something that we can buy. It isn’t something necessarily hard to do. But we do need to be in the mindset to do it. And that often requires a specific intention when we are stressed-out and overwhelmed.

Instead of being caught up in negativity, overlooking the good that is taking place, remember that kindness is a powerful tool.

Harvard Business Review reminds us of the far-reaching benefits of kindness such as:

  • Presenting a win-win to everyone: the Giver and the Receiver. Being acknowledged at work lifts an employee up and helps to lessen burnout and absenteeism.
  • Boosting self-esteem and optimism about circumstances – which can result in a ripple effect of positivity.
  • Deepening the meaning of life. When we’re kind, we’re contributing to someone else, and as a result, how others perceive us is shaped. As such, we are creating meaning for ourselves and others.
  • Raising the vibration of any team or organization where it is present.

A Harvard Business School article aptly titled “Good Leadership is an Act of Kindness,” reminds us that the positive effects of kindness go even further. For example, bosses who are kind may even lengthen their employees lives by lessening their stress, which in turn leads to a healthier heart.

Not to mention that when leaders are genuinely kind, more people will want to do great work for them, creating a virtuous snowball effect.  We all know what it feels like to be part of the opposite phenomenon.

The bottom line: kindness (or lack thereof) can have a tremendous impact on our lives.

Holding Back on Compliments? Witness Its Power.

Kindness is catchy. Once we receive someone’s selfless words or actions, we often suddenly want to do our part to spread it. That’s the beauty of it. It’s the gift that keeps on giving.

Consider Stephen Cannon, president and CEO of Mercedes-Benz USA, who realized success was much more than just vehicles.

Success was about caring – about everyone. “Every encounter with the brand must be as extraordinary as the machine itself,” said Cannon. With no rule book to follow, Cannon organized a grassroots effort centering on kindness.

It caught on. Random acts of kindness took place:

  • A dealer closed a sale and noticed that it was the customer’s birthday. When the customer came to pick up the car, there was a simultaneous birthday celebration.
  • Another customer had a flat tire on the way to her son’s graduation. She drove into a Mercedes dealership but discovered there were no replacement tires in stock. The service manager jacked up a new car in the showroom, removed the tire, and sent the mom on her way to the graduation.

Harry Hynekamp of Mercedes Benz – who became the first general manager for customer experience – took it further. Realizing that pride in the brand was not as strong as first thought, he knew he had to act when he discovered nearly 70% of front-line employees never even drove one of the cars off the lot.

He changed that by creating a program so that employees could experience the thrill of driving a Mercedes. He put 800 cars in the field, and employees chose their time with the car to correspond with important events in their lives, like weddings or picking up family members.

Reactions were out of this world, Hynekamp said. People had gained a sense of pride in their work.

Taking time to really show we care about others – how they’re feeling, what’s important to them, how their needs can best be met – can transform all of us.

Leaders, Show Your Kindness & Empathy

There’s no secret formula for kindness. There are myriad ways to show it and experience it. Everyone can be kind.

“Nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care.”
– Teddy Roosevelt

As a leader, get back to the basics of kindness by taking just a few steps:

  • Sincerely ask “Are you okay?” Show a willingness to help, provide comfort, and look for signs of distress.
  • Answer “I hear you.” And when someone talks, really listen. Listen for what their needs might be rather than how you would solve their
  • Seek to understand, “What can we do to help?” Offering a helping hand can make a difference in anyone’s day.
  • Declare, “I’m here for you.” Be there for your employees – with true empathy.
  • Say “thank you”– and mean it.

By the way, it’s probably obvious but nonetheless so important that I’ll say it anyway:  when we’re engaging with anyone, being present is key. Our undivided attention (think: no side glances towards that phone, listening with half an ear, etc.) can, in itself, be an act of kindness. And, often, it’s the presence piece that can be the most challenging.

How About Starting Off the New Year With a Kindness Resolution?

And while it is indeed so important to be kind to others, we must always remember that being kind starts with ourselves.  We can’t give from an empty well.

Here’s an article on the importance of self-compassion and why it matters to every leader.

“A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees.” – Amelia Earhart

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Emotional Intelligence

The Hidden and Sometimes Scary Key to Impactful Leadership…Our Feelings

“To master your emotions is not to suppress them.
It is to process them with diligence and express them with intelligence.”- Kam Taj

In my 15 or so years working with leaders, there is one topic that has stood out as The One to go gently on: Feelings.

Expressing emotions in the business world is (still) oftentimes viewed as useless and inappropriate. After all, people are hired to get the job done, not to feel, right?

And in the case where some feelings, like enthusiasm, passion and inspiration might occasionally be acceptable, any feeling such as sadness, fear or anger indicating an unmet need erroneously seems to signify an irrational, unstable or weak person.

In reality, nothing could be further from the truth: our emotions can play a pivotal role in leadership, even guiding the decision-making process. Think of emotions as a compass that can guide our choices.

Do you believe that disagreeable emotions have no place in leadership? Think again. Consider fear – this instinctual response can alert us to danger…and even help to protect us. Emotions are information about what might be missing for us. That’s powerful, isn’t it?

Enter Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence (EQ) – is the ability to perceive, manage, express, and understand one’s own emotions as well as others. The benefits of EQ can positively impact everything from everyday workplace productivity to the entire culture of an organization.

In fact, according to Oxford Leadership, developing our emotional intelligence not only makes us better leaders, it can be attributed to:

  • 58% of job performance
  • 90% of top performers
  • an additional $29,000 in compensation annually

Leading With Your Heart or Your Head?

Use Both. A clear example of using emotional intelligence as a strategic tool is revealed in a powerful book, “Leading with Feeling: Nine Strategies of Emotionally Intelligent Leadership,” by Dr. Cary Cherniss and Dr. Cornelia W. Roche.

They cite the story of Tom, a young, successful engineer in a large steel company who suddenly finds himself a manager. At a meeting with a major auto manufacturer firm his firm supplied, Tom was bluntly told he and his team were lousy at just about everything they did.

For Tom, it was like having the rug pulled out from underneath. Now what, he thought?

Instead of immediately reacting, he took the time to listen to their lengthy list of complaints. Then Tom spoke from a place of contained emotions, telling his critics: “I wouldn’t blame you if you fired us as a supplier. But if you give us a chance to fix the problems, I guarantee you that we will not have this kind of meeting next year.”

Tom met with his team, asking for their explanation for the poor performances. He refrained from lashing out, from berating anyone.

Take the Time to Listen

Instead, Tom took the time to understand his team, to ask questions and listen to their answers. He then asked: “What can we do to remedy the problem?”

What was a profound outcome of Tom’s response to the many criticisms thrown his way?

His team had a clear realization that Tom cared.

The next year, at a meeting with the formerly disgruntled company, he heard the best news of his career – they had never witnessed such a turnaround in business in just a year.

How did Tom do it?

He effectively used his emotional intelligence: he perceived and understood his own emotions, how to use them to his benefit and he was able to tap into the emotions of those around him.

To become the best version of ourselves and to achieve the best possible results, every leader can (and should) develop emotional intelligence. This is how we can build teams that believe – and trust – in us.

“It is very important to understand that emotional intelligence is not the opposite of intelligence, it is not the triumph of heart over head–it is the unique intersection of both.” – David Caruso

What are the Characteristics of Emotional Intelligence?

The School of Life lists 26 ways to determine how emotionally mature we are. Among them are:

  • Understanding the enormous influence of so-called ‘small’ things on mood: bed-times, blood sugar and alcohol levels, degrees of background stress etc.
  • Learning that what is in our head can’t automatically be understood by other people.
  • Realizing that most of the bad behavior of other people really comes down to fear and anxiety.

We know that the most impactful leaders are emotionally intelligent – and people are naturally drawn to them.

They are not impulsive or quick to act and think before they speak, much like the example of Tom, the successful engineer in the example above.

An impulsive, non-emotionally intelligent person finding themselves in a situation like Tom’s would most likely behave in a defensive, blaming manner. Such reactions most often result in undesirable outcomes like tense relationships, information hoarding, and victim stances toward growth.

Increasing Your Emotional Intelligence

Abhi Golhar writes in Inc., stating that statistical data has proven that employees with high levels of emotional intelligence see profound increases in productivity and sales.

Can we learn to be emotionally intelligent? Absolutely.

Some highlights from Golhar’s suggestions:

  • Develop an assertive – not aggressive – style of communication.
  • Mindfully respond instead of reacting to situations.
  • Listen more. (This is a key trait for every leader to develop, read more here…)
  • Cultivate a positive, can-do attitude.
  • Show empathy to those around you. (Here are simple strategies to try in this article.)

Practicing Self-Awareness or Self-Reflection is a Solid Foundation to Developing Emotional Intelligence.

Today, get on the metaphorical balcony to observe your emotions. And, rather than labelling them as “good” or “bad,” see them, as the Center for Nonviolent Communication does, simply as emotions when your needs are satisfied and emotions when your needs are not satisfied.

Understanding the source of your own emotions more deeply, cultivating a knack for appropriately expressing them – and being able to hold the space for others to do the same – is where your leadership genius can take root.

“Leaders must either invest a reasonable amount of time attending to fears and feelings or squander an unreasonable of time trying to manage ineffective and unproductive behavior.” – Brene Brown

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Silence

Leveraging the Quiet Power of Silence

As many parts of our society re-open and we enter a phase of the “new normal,” quiet time has never been more important.

We’ve become a plugged-in world. It’s not just the office, with its constant stream of interruptions, meetings, and distractions. It’s outside office hours, too, that seem to offer no respite from noise.

Zoom meetings disrupt home routines. During a relaxing dinner out, even if we’re chatting face to face with a friend, we abruptly ignore them to answer our phone.

We even take our phones into the bathroom with us. And into the bedroom…

Do we even remember what silence is? Most people shun it and have become so used to 24-7 noise that they’re uncomfortable in the silence.

And yet, silence is a powerful healer. The more hectic our lives are, the more we need silence. Our souls demand it.

Scientific data notes the mighty benefits of silence – its restorative abilities not only reduce stress, but can increase creativity, cognitive functions, and elevate mood.

Take a moment right now – in the silence – and discover why silence is truly golden – and good for your overall wellbeing.

Structured Silence: Going Beyond the Noise

What do author JK Rowling, psychiatrist Carl Jung, and Governor Jerry Brown have in common?

They all credit dedicated periods of silence as a component of their success.

The busier our lives are, the more critical it is for us to cultivate times of silence.

Silence fuels the brain, boosts energy levels, and even increases production of brain cells.

Recent research confirms the benefits of silence:

  • A study by Imke Kirste of Duke Medical School discovered that silence can stimulate the development of new brain cells in the hippocampus – the area of learning and memory.
  • Psychologist Jonathan Smallwood discovered that creativity was boosted when one is able to be in silence and focus self-generated thought – thoughts that occur when the mind is not interacting with the outside.
  • Physician Luciano Bernardi discovered that just two minutes of silence between musical pieces created more balance to the respiratory and cardiovascular systems than even ‘relaxing’ music.

The Impact of Noise in the Workplace

On the flip side, noise in the workplace can harm morale, creativity, and production.

  • The Journal of Environmental Psychology published a 2013 survey study noting that participants working in open floor plans were frustrated by distractions that they felt held their performance back. Nearly half the 43,000 employees surveyed felt the benefits of increased interaction of open floor plans were outweighed by the negative effects of increased noise levels.
  • The New Yorker reviewed research on open-plan offices and discovered that it did not enhance employee performance: it hurt productivity, attention spans, and hindered creative thinking and satisfaction.

“Work hard in silence, let your success be your noise.” ― Frank Ocean

Quiet Introvert or Bold Extrovert Leader: Which Style of Leadership for the Future?

Extroverted leadership is openly exhibited in politics, leading many to believe that the louder one speaks, the more boastful one is, and that bragging about achievements and being a noisemaker comprise a great leader.

Not so fast.

New research has discovered that for tackling the historic challenges of the world today, a quiet and introverted style of leadership may be the better way.

In an Open Learn article, we read that the value of introverts, notably in leadership, is not valued enough – this according to Susan Cain, author of “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking.” She cites two notable introverts: Steve Jobs of Apple and physicist Albert Einstein.

The Hidden Power of an Introverted Leader

Research notes the benefits of introverts in leadership positions. Introverts:

  • Tend to listen to their teams more
  • Are humble, and more likely to give credit to their team
  • Give more thought before taking any action
  • Are unlikely to jeopardize performance by seeking greater benefits, such as money or power

This might be surprising to some, but it’s true: the workforce is made up of 40-60% introverts. Their success in leadership positions comes in their ability to listen – not to react – but to respond. And in today’s turbulent world, listening is a greatly valued trait.

Words Aren’t Everything:  Silence in Leadership

Successful leaders know the value of silence – it can speak louder than words.

Avery Blank offers leaders ways to make the most of silence in her Forbes article:

The value of silence can:

  • Highlight a point. Fewer words means we’re heard – when it matters most.
  • Cultivate trust. To build trust, we must listen –dominating with excess chatter does the opposite.
  • Empower others. It allows our team members to speak up with their ideas and give them opportunity to lead. It builds respect – and boosts our impact and reach as leaders.
  • Bring power during business negotiations. Silence can be a strategic tool that leaves a person wondering what you’re thinking.

Every leader should make a daily commitment to silence – even for just a few moments.

In the busy, noisy, congested (and increasingly digital) world we live in, many may think silence is meaningless, that it’s empty space that must be filled.

Not so.

We’re so busy listening to the world that we don’t take time to listen to ourselves, to self-reflect, to let our brains immerse in quiet healing, to take note of things we’ve overlooked.

And just as importantly, silence helps us hear things that are drowned out in our plugged-in world – leaves gently rustling on a windy day, birds singing their melodies, even the songs of evening insects on a warm summer night.

Sure, many people want to be seen – and heard. But the most important to first see and hear is ourself. Until we can do that, we really can’t do much of a good job seeing or hearing anyone else.

“The quieter you become, the more you can hear.” -Ram Dass

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