You are the company you keep. How many times have you heard that one before?

The truth is, if you want to get on the fast track to success, it’s absolutely essential to surround yourself with the right people – a positive “team” that will support you, motivate you, and hold you accountable.

Who’s on Your Team?

Start by evaluating the people in your life – who are you surrounding yourself with? Think about the people in your close circle and consider how they add to (or take away from) your life.

Are there particular people who really seem to motivate you? Are there some who just drain your energy, leaving you feeling worn out after you’ve spent time with them?

If you want to accomplish your goals, you must surround yourself with people who will help – not hinder – your efforts to succeed.

Let Go of Negative Naysayers

We all deal with negativity in our lives. We hear it in the media – after all, drama sells. We hear it in the office, and many of us hear it at home.

Sometimes, the people closest to us unwittingly bring us down. I’m not suggesting that you completely isolate yourself from long-term friends and family members, of course. This is where it becomes extremely important to develop awareness.

Plan how you’ll respond to the negative naysayers in your life. If you can create a distance between the two of you, great. If creating that space isn’t possible right now, practice assertiveness to let the other person know you aren’t willing or able to continue listening to the same negativity again and again.

Build Your Network

If you want to really get ahead – in business and in life – you’ll want to continually build your network. As you develop your own supportive network, you’ll see the immense value others offer.

Here are 3 simple tips to build your network:

1. Join organizations that are related to your goals. Professional or trade organizations offer you the chance to connect with others who may be on a similar path as you are. You’ll be able to meet peers to bounce ideas off of, as well as those who are in more advanced positions who may offer you new perspectives you might not have considered.
2. Take advantage of educational opportunities. Participate in workshops, seminars, conferences, or other educational classes. The benefit here is twofold: you get to learn something new or expand your skillset, and you get to network with people in your field.
3. Harness the power of social media. No list on developing your professional network would be complete without a mention of social media. LinkedIn has redefined the professional networking landscape – people use it for referrals and references, connecting with people in their field, and new introductions.

In the words of Helen Keller, “Alone we can do so little, together we can do so much.”

If you want to learn simple, easy tips to gain the self-confidence you need to connect with the right people, don’t miss my FREE confidence e-series! Sign up here, or connect with me anytime!

Images courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

Overwhelm happens to the best of us. I know. As a wife, a mom, and a business owner (to name a few!), even I’ve struggled with overwhelm on more than a few occasions.

Just recently, I contemplated the fact that the year is now already more than half over…and with that thought, the wheels of my mind started spinning. Before I knew it, I was sending messages to myself to “hurry” and “get everything done” before it’s “too late”.

Here’s what I did to ground myself – you can use these same nuggets of advice to bring yourself back down to earth the next time life has you overwhelmed…

Be Kind to Yourself

For many of us, hearing a phrase like “easy does it” only adds more fuel to the fire: to get it done, pronto. “If I just finish that stack of paperwork, I can kick back,” you tell yourself. Making our experience dependent on “if” and “when” factors often leads to one destination: overwhelm and ultimately, burnout.

The truth is, freedom and greater ease are available to you right now, wherever you are. These do not depend on whether or not you accomplish everything on your to-do list.

Be kind enough to yourself to consider what your needs are in this moment. Do you need a five-minute break? Would you benefit from a quick walk outdoors in the fresh air? A power nap? A few minutes in meditation? Some journaling?

Your needs will likely be different from day to day. I find that when I pay attention to what I really need and spend even a small amount of time on it, that rushed feeling starts to diminish, and I begin to naturally feel more peaceful and fulfilled.

Finding Peace in an Unsettled World

Author Tony Schwartz quotes Huffington Post founder Arianna Huffington in an HBR article about being mindful in an “unmanageable” world.

“I believe this is a very special moment in history, a kind of perfect storm. There is a growing recognition — to borrow language from AA — that our world has become unmanageable.”

-Arianna Huffington

There’s no doubt increasing numbers of people the world over find life unmanageable. Schwartz affirms that an article he penned for The New York Times called “Relax! You’ll Be More Productive.” received an overwhelming response, often describing the sense of overwhelm people feel at work.

“Just below the surface of our shared compulsion to do ever more, ever faster, is a deep hunger to do less, more slowly,” asserts Schwartz.

Above, I talked about how being kind to yourself and mindful of your needs is crucial. It’s equally as important to be mindful of others. Listen to others and try to understand their own point of view. Consider the struggles they may be facing.

 Create a Space for Yourself

We all need downtime – it’s absolutely essential. Moreover, the benefits of relaxation are proven to help relieve muscle tension, decrease anxiety, and enhance your wellbeing. And when you feel relaxed, you’re more likely to respond to all life’s stressors with a calm, poised frame of mind.

Setting aside time for relaxation is more than simply taking a few minutes here or there to be gentle to yourself. If you can set aside 20-30 minutes each day, you’re likely to see very positive results over time that benefit many areas of your life.

Even better, plan larger blocks of dedicated downtime at least several times a year. For instance, I just had the opportunity to enjoy Miami for several days. Of course, I’m not suggesting you have to make huge travel plans just to enjoy some downtime.

Work with your own unique needs to create space for yourself – whether it’s a planned getaway across town or across the globe (or maybe even a private little staycation right in your own home)!

The goal is to create a space for yourself to allow for greater freedom and ease – mentally and physically.

If you’re serious about gaining the clarity you need to conquer the overwhelm in your life and access greater freedom, I have great news! My new free training, “The Woman Entrepreneur’s Guide: From Overwhelm to Clarity in 3 Simple Steps” takes place Thursday, June 25. Reserve your spot now!

Images courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

You might be tired of hearing how important it is to set goals, but stop and ask yourself if any of these statements sound familiar to you. Be honest!

• I try to achieve my goals, but it never seems to work out.
• I have big goals, but they seem so far out of reach.
• I really want to accomplish my goals, but I don’t know where to start.

Each of these statements hints at something deeper. Yes, we may have “goals” that we want to achieve, but if we lack clarity – if we’re fuzzy and vague in our goal-setting – how can we succeed?

In this post, I’m going to provide you with some tips to get your goals organized. But let’s start with some inspiring stats first!

How Women are Rockin It in Business

The numbers are in. The Womenable report commissioned by American Express “OPEN State of Women-Owned Businesses 2014” says:

• As of the year 2014, there were almost 9.1 million women-owned enterprises.
• From 1997 to 2014, the number of women-owned firms grew at 1.5 times the national average.
• Revenue and employment growth among women-owned firms exceeds that of all other firms except the largest, publicly traded corporations.
• Women of color now account for 1 in 3 (or 32%) women-owned firms in the US, up from 17% 17 years prior.
• Over the 1997-2014 period, there has been an average net increase of 591 women-owned firms each day.

“This current publication reinforces trends we have been seeing in this and other research – that the number of women-owned firms continues to increase at rates exceeding the national average,” the report authors declare.

Joining the Ranks of Successful Women

You might be wondering what these statistics have to do with goal-setting. Well, if you want to join the ranks of successful women business owners, you have to start somewhere, right?

And one of the best places to start is with an evaluation of your goals. Few of us actually have clear, measurable goals to work with – and fewer still have these important goals written down.

If you’re not sure any of this will make a difference, the results of a study conducted on the 1979 Harvard MBA program should be enough to convince you…

Grad students were asked a simple question: Have you set clear, written goals for your future and made plans to accomplish them?

Just 3% said they had written goals and plans; 13% had goals but they didn’t write them down. 84% had no goals at all.

Ten years later, that same group was interviewed once more. The results were astonishing: Remember that 13% who had goals, but just didn’t write them down? They were earning twice the amount of the 84% who had no goals.

It gets better. The miniscule 3% who had goals and wrote them down were earning an average of 10x more than the other 97% of the class combined!

Get Clear on Your Goals Today

Follow these simple steps to get you on the right path to success:

1. Start with a vision. Establish what you really want. If you don’t even know what you’re truly looking for, you’ll have a tough time mustering up the motivation to achieve anything. Ask yourself questions like “What does a day in my ideal life look like?” and “What do I want to create in my life?”
2. Write down your goals. In the first step, you hopefully gave yourself the chance to think big. Now start working on a list of measurable goals. Include clear details that will help you determine how to best achieve them.
3. Set milestones. Depending on what your goals are, some may take a while to complete. Instead of focusing on the “big picture”, break the biggest steps down into smaller and more achievable steps. Don’t worry if you’re not moving along as quickly as you’d like. You can always make adjustments as you go along.
4. Stop to appreciate your accomplishments. Think about how you’ll reward yourself when you achieve a milestone. Have the confidence to celebrate big and small milestones, taking the time to reflect on the journey that you’ve taken. Celebrating your accomplishments is a great motivator, too!
5. Reevaluate as necessary. No one ever said you had to follow your written goals to the letter. In fact, reevaluating your goals – and making adjustments where needed – is a healthy part of the entire process.

If you’re serious about gaining the clarity you need to conquer the overwhelm in your life and achieve all your big goals, I have great news! My new free training, “The Woman Entrepreneur’s Guide: From Overwhelm to Clarity in 3 Simple Steps” takes place Thursday, June 25. Reserve your spot now!

Images courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

Consider the following scenario, where two very different women are present in a meeting with others. You’ll probably relate to knowing both types of women…

Beth is as quiet as a mouse. She does have comments and ideas that she’d like to contribute, but she decides that it is best not to ruffle any feathers; therefore, she remains silent. In fact, no one really notices Beth is even there.

Jen always speaks her peace, whether she’s at home, in a meeting, or out with the girls. She doesn’t mince any words, and she’s certainly not worried about rocking the boat. At times, the things she’s said have led to misunderstandings and hurt feelings. Everyone notices Jen, but not always for the right reasons.

Middle Ground…Does it Exist?

“There is no evidence that ‘acting like a lady’ does anything except make women more well-liked. Women with ultra-feminine traits, in fact, are still seen as less competent in traditional managerial settings.”

-Olivia A. O’Neill, Journal of Occupational and Organizational Psychology

Can women find a middle ground? Can “ladylike” and “leader-like” ever really meet? That depends on who you ask.

Marianne Cooper, lead researcher for the infamous book Lean In, writes, “If a woman acts assertively or competitively, if she pushes her team to perform, if she exhibits decisive and forceful leadership, she is deviating from the social script that dictates how she ‘should’ behave.”

Moreover, asserts Cooper, terms like “Ice Queen” and “Ballbuster” show how awkward powerful women still make us feel. “In fact,” she suggests, “we often don’t really like them.”

An interesting study from Stanford GSB offers another perspective. The study found that women who are aggressive, assertive, and confident – but who know how to turn such traits on or off

depending on the circumstance they’re in – actually get more promotions than either men or other women.

The study also noted that women high in what are considered to be “masculine” traits – aggressiveness, assertiveness, and confidence – were also able to “self-monitor” their behavior. These women were outstanding chameleons, able to assess social situations and adapt to their environment effectively.

Moreover, so-called “masculine” women who were high self-monitors fared well professionally, receiving 3 times as many promotions as masculine women who were low self-monitors. This demonstrates that masculine behavior by itself does not equal success.

Be Authentic to Find Your Own “Middle Ground”

There is no single formula to help you embody the perfect blend of masculine and feminine traits. Even if there were, it would vary based on the circumstances you’re in, as the study above indicated.

Your best bet? Be authentic – and adaptable. Practicing authenticity will help you stay aligned with the values that matter most to you, while being adaptable will allow you to bring out the best traits needed in a given situation.

Here are five more simple tips:

1. Be assertive. If you want to be taken seriously, make sure your words – and actions – have conviction. Just remember not to slip into egotistical behavior during a moment of low self-esteem.
2. Practice awareness. Know – and lead from – your strengths. Honestly identify your weaknesses, especially ones that are affecting your confidence levels, and make an effort to overcome them.
3. Stay connected. Whether you’re leading a large organization or have just started a small business, make sure you’re connecting with people at all levels. Be accessible, communicate clearly, and demonstrate genuine interest in others.
4. Remember that you can’t please everyone. Leaders cannot be liked by every single person, all the time. It just doesn’t happen that way. There will be times when your confidence is tested – accept it and give yourself the space you need before responding to the situation.
5. Display confidence. Build healthy levels of confidence to give you the strength to take on challenging but manageable projects, which will allow you to accomplish new goals. Plus, confidence will pull you out of your comfort zone and help you gain the momentum you need to soar to new heights.

If you want to learn simple, easy tips to boost your self-confidence, don’t miss my FREE confidence e-series! Sign up here, or connect with me anytime!

Images courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

“Be proud of your assets, not ashamed of your flaws.”

– Liana Chaouli

If you’ve been following my blog, you know that I write extensively about the topic of self-confidence. Today, I want to talk about a sometimes-overlooked area related to that topic: the power of your wardrobe.

Have you ever worn an outfit that made you feel confident and ready to take on whatever comes your way? As it turns out, you’re not just imagining that empowered feeling you have when you rock your favorite dress or suit…

You Are What You Wear

According to an article in Vogue, a study published on the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology’s website found that participants who wore white coats that they believed belonged to doctors actually performed better on tests than those who wore only street clothes, or those who believed the coats were instead associated with artists.

Vogue author Katherine Bernard explains, “It’s no secret that assembling an outfit is like selecting social armor, and that what we wear has power over others (if there weren’t truth to the cliché “lady in red”, designers wouldn’t be making so many scarlet dresses), but this study shows if you have a strong cultural association with a garment, wearing it can affect your cognitive processes.”

There’s a term that describes the “systematic influence that clothes have on the wearer’s psychological processes”, and it’s called enclothed cognition. For instance, if your brain associates certain designers or articles of clothing with smart, successful women, you also are likely to take on those qualities when you wear that type of clothing.

Basic Wardrobe Principles

Here are some “Laws of Dressing” adapted from Liana Chaouli, President and Founder of Image Therapists International, Inc., and an internationally recognized speaker and educator.

1. If your outfit is getting more attention than you are, choose a different one. You want people to take notice of who you are, not what you are wearing. Think of it this way: Do you want someone to remember you for what you said or did that was impactful? Or, do you want to be remembered as that person who stole the show in an eye-popping, splashy red suit?

Make sure your wardrobe is working as hard as you are. Help people focus on you – your message, your talents, your best attributes – by dressing authentically.

2. Say goodbye to old/worn out garments. Yes, I know…we all have a favorite garment that we just don’t want to let go of. It could be the khaki pants you’ve had since 1998, or that super-soft cashmere twinset that has one (okay, maybe two) teeny little holes you’re sure no one notices.

The point is – most people do take notice of what we’re wearing, more than we realize. If it’s challenging for you to discard your favorite worn-out garments, just remember that how you “look” on the outside reflects how you feel on the inside. Don’t let worn out clothes make a wrong first impression – get rid of them today!

3. Follow the one-year rule. Dive into your closet and pluck out all the pieces you haven’t worn in a year (or more). Look over each item, asking yourself why you haven’t worn it. Did you forget it was there? Is it unflattering? Do you just dislike it for whatever reason? Can you revitalize it with the right accessory pieces? Or, is it old and outdated?

If you can revitalize a classic piece with the perfect accessory, great. But if you know you’ll never wear the garment again, donate or discard it.

Undoubtedly, some fields accept and even embrace an offbeat style of dress. Mainstream business and academic worlds, in general, do not. Can you picture a powerful C-level exec wearing ill-fitting polyester pants and a flashy shirt? Of course not, and for good reason.

Whether you’ve just been promoted or you’re stepping into unfamiliar territory by starting a business of your own, get to know the dress code of the environment you’re in. This will help people will remember you for you – and not for the outfit you were wearing!

No matter what you’re wearing, having confidence in yourself is key. If you want to learn simple, easy tips to boost your self-confidence, don’t miss my FREE confidence e-series! Sign up here, or connect with me anytime!

Images courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net