I was recently asked to offer my professional insight to Dice author Leslie Stevens-Huffman for an article on how women in tech can increase their visibility in the workplace. No matter what industry you’re in, increasing your visibility is key to advancing your career. So, here are some more of my perspectives on this topic.

Start Small

My experience working with women leaders has shown me that the best way to bring about lasting, positive change that results in consistent opportunities to increase your profile is to take small steps. It’s great that you want to seek out a big project to assist on or to offer to lead a presentation at an event where executive leaders will be attending.

The problem is that making a big, bold move all at once can leave you feeling overwhelmed and possibly, questioning your ability to follow through. Instead of jumping in with both feet, try finding smaller opportunities where you can add value to the organization. Use your ordinary daily interactions to increase your visibility and then build up to larger opportunities.

Build Your Confidence

I talk a lot about confidence, and that’s because it’s a particularly important topic for women leaders. Consider a KPMG Women’s Leadership Study (conducted by Ipsos on behalf of KPMG) that surveyed 3,014 US women between the ages of 18 and 64. A whopping 67% of women reported that they needed “more support building confidence to feel like they can be leaders.”

Further, “the lack of confidence affects an array of other activities tied to ultimately becoming leaders: nine in 10 women said they do not feel confident asking for sponsors (92%), with large numbers also lacking confidence seeking mentors (79%), asking for access to senior leadership (76%), pursuing a job opportunity beyond their experience (73%), asking for a career path plan (69%), requesting a promotion (65%), raise (61%), or a new role or position (56%).”

Saying it’s important to build confidence is an understatement. In fact, the study indicates that corporations should consider why confidence poses such a challenge for substantial numbers of women in corporate environments.

If you’re looking for ways to increase your confidence, many of my previous posts are chockfull of helpful tips and strategies:

• 5 Confidence Building Tips for Women
• Bold Builders: 5 Confidence-Boosting Affirmations
• Why It’s Important to Develop Confidence in Women
• Banish Stress to Gain Confidence: 5 Tips for Working Moms
• Confidence Through Learning: How Education Eliminates Insecurity

Change Your Mindset

If increasing your visibility feels like a struggle, try shifting your mindset. Part of creating a shift in your mindset comes from developing your self-confidence, but there’s still more work to do. Take small steps outside of your comfort zone by trying the following techniques.

• Silence your inner critic by becoming aware of negative self-talk that is holding you back.
• Get more comfortable accepting compliments instead of brushing them off or thinking someone was “just trying to be nice.”
• Seek support when you need it – whether that involves working with a mentor or coach or just reading books and other materials that encourage you to grow.
• Celebrate EVERY success! Propel yourself forward by reflecting back on your achievements, both big and small.
• Embrace who you are, your authentic

And remember, small steps will eventually get you big results – in work and in life.

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Stress. It’s a huge problem for most of us worldwide. And we’re stressing a lot over our jobs. “Numerous studies show that job stress is far and away the major source of stress for American adults and that it has escalated progressively over the past few decades,” reports The American Institute of Stress (AIS).

Stress Doesn’t Take a Vacation

In the cities of NY, LA, and other US municipalities, the correlation between job stress and heart attacks is well-known. When a police officer suffers a “coronary event” – on or off the job – it’s considered to be a work-related injury. The AIS explains that this even applies in events where a heart attack was sustained while “fishing on vacation” or “gambling in Las Vegas”.

The moral of the story: you might take a week off to get away from all that stress – but unfortunately, stress doesn’t like taking vacations all that much. Once stress takes hold, it’s quite at home wreaking havoc on your mind and body.

It’s Personal…Very Personal

The AIS asserts that rankings of “most” or “least” stressful jobs aren’t of particular importance, but rather, it’s the unique fit between the person and her working environment that is most meaningful. It makes sense: just think about a person who absolutely loves working in a high-pressure, fast-paced environment with tight deadlines, constant interaction and little downtime. Then consider the person who thrives in a more toned-down setting where the work might be considered dull, repetitive, or even boring by others.

Stress, it turns out, is personal…very personal. This is why it’s not effective to make sweeping generalizations about entire professions or job titles. For instance, this AIS reports that the mundane task of completing paperwork was actually found to be more stressful for many police officers than pursuing criminals and the inherent risks associated with that.

Getting a Handle on All that Stress

So, what do you do to reduce the stress? Here are some helpful tips:

1. Make a change. There are times in life when all the ordinary stress-busting tactics just aren’t going to cut it. Yes, those are the times when you have to commit to making a change – for your health, for your overall well-being, for your relationships…whatever the reason, if you know your job isn’t a good fit, it could be time to move on. Whether that’s to a different job in the same field or to an entirely new career path, don’t be afraid to answer your calling.
2. Take the small steps you need to get there. Don’t overwhelm yourself by constantly focusing on the bigger picture – instead, take the baby steps you need to accomplish whatever your goals might be. Map out a plan and break down your big, bold goals into smaller, more manageable segments. And don’t forget to celebrate your accomplishments, large and small!
3. Explore the tools that work best for you. We know that our responses to stress are as unique as we are. So, explore the stress strategies that work best for you. If you’re not sure what would be effective, choose one or two strategies and implement them for 2 weeks to see what happens. Here are 21 more creative ways to bust through stress – if you don’t observe any positive changes after trying one or two, move to a different strategy.

When it comes to workplace stress (or really, any type of stress), there is no “one size fits all” cure. Be patient with yourself as you work on making the changes necessary to reduce stress.

If you want expert insight on workplace wellness, you won’t want to miss out on my friend Maya’s upcoming telesummit, where 21 experts will weigh in on topics related to a Happy, Healthy Workplace. Sign up here!

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In most parts of the US, spring has finally arrived. No matter what part of the world you’re in, why not do a little spring cleaning in your life to get rid of unwanted stress? You may be thinking “Easier said than done…” It is important to know that there really is no single “cure-all” for stress, though many books, gurus, programs and retreats out there would like you to believe there is.

With a few practical strategies, you might be surprised at how you can whittle away at what’s stressing you:

1. Make a needed change. Has something been gnawing at you for a while? Whether you’ve had it with your job or you know it’s time to call it quits in a relationship, sometimes it’s best to tackle the issue head on. No one can tell you what’s right for you – but if something is causing you mega-stress, it deserves your attention. Bigger changes certainly can’t be addressed in a day or two, but verbalizing your intentions, following up with a plan, and getting any needed support can make a huge difference.
2. Connect with others. Surround yourself with others who are supportive of you. Consider volunteering – it’s good for your health, according to research. There are so many organizations that would benefit from your involvement! And, if it feels like your life has become unbearable because of stress, don’t hesitate to reach out to a professional to help you get a handle on things.
3. Set your boundaries. It’s okay to say no – in fact, it’s good for you. Cutting back on your obligations can not only help you lower your stress, but can boost your confidence, too. Check out this simple, helpful article on Psychology Today aptly titled, 10 Tips for Setting Boundaries and Feeling Better.
4. Get moving. Exercise is no joke – it can offer some pretty significant changes for your body and your spirits. So says the February 2011 issue of Harvard Men’s Health Watch – and a lot of other sources, too. You don’t have to be a bodybuilder to get the benefits – even stepping away from your desk for a little while to go for a stroll can help you come back refreshed.
5. Soak up some “me time”. Just think for a second about the last time you were fully engaged in something you enjoyed – sports…yoga…cooking…travelling…gardening…the list goes on. No deadlines, no pressure, no competitions…just pure enjoyment. How did that feel? Your answer to that is exactly why you need to make time for YOU…no more excuses!

We all experience stress – and if there’s one universal truth, it’s that there will always be another stressor sneaking in, ready to pop into your life at the most inopportune time. Change how you react to stress – and watch how your life changes in the process.

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Stressed? You’re definitely not alone. We experience stress from virtually anything – from simple, everyday annoyances to the “big” stuff like financial woes, job worries, and relationship troubles. Not surprisingly, stress that builds up can have serious negative consequences on your personal and professional life.

The Lowdown on Stress

Statistic Brain lists the top causes of stress: job pressure, money, health, relationships, poor nutrition, media overload, and sleep deprivation. In the US, 77% of people regularly experience stress-induced physical symptoms, and 73% routinely experience psychological stress-induced symptoms. Nearly 50% of people felt their stress has risen over the last five years, and 48% claimed stress kept them up at night.

If you’re a parent, you may not be fully aware how stress is affecting your kids: your own stress levels can wreak havoc with your kids. Tension is contagious, according to David Code, author of Kids Pick Up On Everything: How Parental Stress is Toxic to Kids.

In Stress in America™ Paying With Our Health, released February 2015 by the American Psychological Association (APA), survey findings indicated that parents with children under 18 living at home often report greater average stress levels than their counterparts.

What’s more, survey findings showed a link between stress and age, with millennials and Gen Xers reporting greater levels of stress than any other generation. In fact, 82% of millennials report having experienced at least one stress symptom in the past month.

What’s Your Stress Reaction?

What can you do about all that stress? There’s good news and bad news…the bad news is that most of us aren’t natural born stress-busting warriors. The good news? Just about everyone can learn new coping skills or modify their existing skills to better respond to life’s stressors.

The first step in stress management starts with a candid look at your unique reaction to stress. Sometimes it’s easier to start by observing how other people react to stress than it is to determine your own reaction.

Just think of how five different people you know would react to an everyday stressor like running late for a meeting or being stuck behind a slow driver. Some may take it all in stride; others may swiftly go right into panic mode.

As you assess how you react to stress, ask these questions (for best results, I recommend keeping a journal for at least a week to monitor yourself):

• Are there certain triggers that set you off?
• Do you respond more negatively to some stressors (for instance, a leaky faucet doesn’t ruffle your feathers too much, but waiting in traffic seems to set you right off…)?
• How do you respond? Do you unconsciously grit your teeth or clench your fists? Have unexplained physical ailments? Overeat? Skip meals? Blow up in anger? Cry? Avoid the issue? Expect the worst? Turn to alcohol, tobacco, or illicit drugs?

Now you can use your findings to develop stress-busting strategies, which I’ll talk more about that in my next post. For now, I’ll leave you with a quote from famed stress researcher Hans Selye, “It’s not stress that kills us; it is our reaction to it.”

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You want to be successful in your career, and a big part of that success depends on building a solid relationship with your boss…someone whose presence is often fleeting.

You need to get his approval on something, make sure he understands what you’re working on, or to clarify a piece of information. Problem is, you can’t seem to get his attention. Emails and calls go unanswered. If you do get a response, it may not be the one you hoped for.

When you look at the bigger picture, all of this is completely understandable – your boss is a busy person. And you’re just trying to do a good job.

How do you bridge that gap and improve how you communicate with your boss? Here are my top strategies:

1. Play detective. Get to know how your boss communicates. Is he numbers-orientated? Visual? Long-winded? To the point? Play a little game of detective here – you can even enlist someone close to him such as an assistant to find out what his communication style is. Find out if he prefers email to phone, or vice versa. Doing this will prime you for the next strategy, which is…
2. Prepare ahead of time. Your communication should come from a need-to-know standpoint. In other words, what is absolutely critical for your boss to know? That’s what you want to focus on. How does your concern impact the organization positively or negatively? Write it down if you have to or type it out so you’ll know exactly what you want to say. As you’re preparing, remember the next strategy…
3. Be concise – keep it brief. Do you want that email you send to get stacked with all the others – or do you actually want it to get read? If the latter is what you’re striving for, keep your communication as concise as possible. Before you hit that send button, consider reviewing the content and trimming down as much as possible. Be matter-of-fact – your boss has no time for TMI.
4. Examine your emotions. Before initiating any communication – whether it’s a simple email, a meeting in the boardroom or a one-on-one conversation, ask yourself what mood or emotion will best serve you. This is particularly important if the circumstance is challenging. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, now is not the best time. Practice self-awareness to get to know yourself better – and ultimately, better engage in meaningful, effective communication.
5. Let your self-confidence shine. Did you know that nonverbal cues make up 93% of our communication to others? As far back as 1872 (with the publication of Darwin’s The Expression of the Emotions in Man and Animals), research has been taking place on all our unspoken communications and behaviors. Radiate calm-confidence: breath evenly, maintain eye contact, keep your voice even. If you’re standing, keep your legs shoulder-width apart and hold your shoulders back and down. Watch out for nervous habits like twirling hair or stroking your clothes. You may not even be aware that you’re doing it, but little habits like that speak volumes – no pun intended.
6. Practice! Yes, I’m talking about a little role-playing here – even if it happens in front of your bathroom mirror. Put all the pieces above together and role-play either alone or with a trusted acquaintance. Practice doesn’t always make perfect, but it will help you hone your communication skills. You can also use your real-life, everyday communications with your boss as “practice” – try different communication techniques to see what gets good results.
7. Don’t take things too personally. When you’re trying to give it your best, but calls and emails go unanswered, it can be tricky not to take things personally. It can be hard not to feel intimidated by someone you perceive as “higher up”. Women in particular sometimes wonder “Am I doing something wrong?” Recognize that your boss doesn’t necessarily dislike or disapprove of you – how he communicates may simply be different from the way you do.

Almost anyone who has ever tried communicating with a high-level leader will tell you it can be challenging. If you see the challenge as an opportunity, I guarantee you’ll expand your knowledge and self-awareness – while developing your leadership and communication skills.

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