Spirit. Liveliness. Determination. Courage.

These words make up the very definition of spunk. It’s incredibly easy to lose our spirit – our spunk – when we get caught up in the grind of everyday life.

Here’s the thing: before you can move forward with achieving your “heart goal”, you need to have a certain energy level in place. Our spunk diminishes over time when we become overly focused on trying to live up to life’s constant expectations and demands.

Here are 10 of my favorite ways to get your zest for living back…

1. Get rid of what’s draining you. Have you taken an honest look at your schedule lately? What tasks consume too much of your time and effort? First identify – then either delegate or eliminate them.
2. Slow down. Do you subscribe to the popular notion that “more is more”? Think again. I know how impossible it may sound to follow the “easy does it” mindset, but give it a try – the results might surprise you.
3. Follow your passion. What are your flow activities that bring you joy? These replenish your mind, body, and soul. Make time to engage in activities that fuel you – your soul will thank you for it!
4. Declutter your environment. Think: 5 minute changes at a time – so you’re not adding to the overwhelm. You don’t have to worry about getting every room, closet and desk drawer in tip-top shape all at once – just devote a few minutes each day.
5. Overhaul your wardrobe. The power that your wardrobe can have is incredible. Donate clothes that no longer fit or flatter you. Replace them with garments that make you look and feel radiant, confident, and empowered.
6. Say no to individuals and circumstances that drag you down. This is something we all encounter sometimes…that person who just brings you down and siphons your energy. If you can’t completely eliminate the person or circumstance, do your best to distance yourself.
7. Stand up for yourself. At first glance, this one might seem very similar to the tip above…but it’s actually different. This is about developing the assertiveness you need to set boundaries. Are you saying “yes” to too many opportunities at once? Be real with yourself and know that it’s okay to say “no” sometimes.
8. Identify your strengths. Your inner strengths are just as important as your external tools are resources. Write down all the unique talents, attributes, and abilities that make you shine – this is also a great way to boost self-esteem.
9. Nourish your body…with healthy foods, exercise, and plenty of rest to allow it to regenerate. Sure, you’ve heard this hundreds of times before – but are you really doing it? If your body is running on empty all the time, how can you expect to soar in your life?
10. Take action! Absolutely nothing can happen for you if you don’t actually take action. What’s the action you need to take to get your zing back? Do it! Don’t be that ship aimlessly floating around a vast, endless ocean of self-doubt and fear – be the captain of your own ship and navigate to higher, bolder levels of fulfillment and success!

Now that you have 10 easy strategies to reclaim your spunk, make a commitment to do something just for you – and only you – today. If you want to truly influence and give back to others, you must start with yourself first.

Want to get your spunk back and more? Click here to watch a 3-part video series designed to to take you to higher levels.

Images courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

Can you think of a time when you felt great – enthusiastic and empowered – only to encounter a negative person who put a damper on your own mood? Most of us are probably familiar with this. Not surprisingly, being around negativity can seriously impact your own well-being and ultimately, your success.

Why Complaining is Bad for You

Minda Zetlin penned an article called Listening to Complainers Is Bad for Your Brain for Inc.com, where she highlighted several key reasons overexposure to negativity really is bad for you.

Zetlin cites author and “serial entrepreneur” Trevor Blake, who explains that our brains operate more like a muscle than previously thought. What this means is that if you’re stuck listening to someone being negative for a while, you’re more likely to behave that way too.

Research also shows that exposure to 30 or more minutes of negativity can peel away neurons in the brain’s hippocampus, the part of your brain that plays a role in problem-solving. You don’t have to experience an in-person negative event – even watching negative material on TV can have the same effect.

In an article published in Psychology Today, author Guy Winch, Ph.D. explains that our mood, self-esteem, and our general mental health can all be affected by a buildup of the frustrations and feelings of powerlessness associated with unaddressed complaints.

What to do About Negative Naysayers

1. Reposition pessimistic comments. This is a powerful one, whether you’re leading a team at a large company or a budding entrepreneur. In an HBR article, author Amy Gallo asserts that negativity left unaddressed can squash momentum and motivation.

Instead of allowing negative comments to linger, ask the other party for more information. Let’s say you’re planning to launch a new business. Someone says to you, “I wouldn’t waste the time if I were you. You’ll never make it past the launch phase in this economy.”

Don’t retort with more negativity or start the back-and-forth over the original comment. Ask the person for clarification: “What would you suggest to give the best chances of success?”

Another easy tip is to encourage the use of “but statements” following skeptical or critical comments. For instance, you could respond, “It may not be easy, but my mentors have really helped me build a solid foundation so I can start off strong.”

2. Don’t play into the “victim” mentality. Whether you’re the one complaining, or you’ve been confronted by a Negative Nancy, never give in to victimhood. If you have to complain, complain effectively.

Wait…complain effectively?? Yes, that’s right. In an article written by Meg Selig for Psychology Today, readers are presented with nine habits of very effective complainers, which include taking responsibility (if you have some) in the matter, clearly identifying what it is you’re even complaining about, and seeking out the person(s) most appropriate to help you solve the concern.

What do you get out of it? More self-esteem, stronger relationships, heightened mood, and higher levels of satisfaction. Just remember to resist the urge to become a chronic complainer – understand that some things simply aren’t worth your time or effort.

3. Encourage a workable solution. Calling attention to something that’s gone wrong and complaining endlessly about it are two totally different things. Think about the last time you saw a group of people together going on and on over a perceived wrong. You probably heard phrases like, “Oh, that’s awful”, “That’s just so wrong”, or “Can you believe that happened?”

The problem with this is that even just passively listening to conversations like these can negatively impact you. Why? Because the focus isn’t on an actionable solution, but on the negativity surrounding the problem.

The next time you’re cornered by a chronic complainer, ask her what she is going to do about the issue…how does she plan to resolve it? The responses you can expect to receive will vary based on the individual – some people will simply walk away in a huff, but others may actually want to strategize a solution.

In reality, negativity is something we all will face in our everyday lives. It’s how we handle it that makes all the difference in the world.

Do you want to gain the self-confidence you need to conquer the negative naysayers in your life? Don’t miss my FREE confidence e-series! Sign up here, or connect with me anytime!

Images courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

“I am not a product of my circumstances. I am a product of my decisions.”

-Stephen R. Covey

Decisions. We all make them. From deciding what to wear to the office each day to choosing a new career path, we make choices every single day. How many times have we heard phrases like the following:

• The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.
• Big risk can equal big reward.
• Hindsight is 20/20.

When you’re faced with a tough decision, do you let “what if”, fear-based thinking to creep in, or do you come at it from a balanced perspective, staying aligned with your values and vision?

In reality, we’ve probably all approached the decision-making process both ways during the course of a lifetime. Most of us don’t normally sweat the small stuff.

It’s the big “stuff” that counts – deciding whether to launch a new business, terminate a job, start (or end) a relationship, or move to a new location. Making decisions like these can stop even the most outwardly confident, successful people in their tracks.

As Forbes.com contributor Alex McClafferty so aptly states, “To solve difficult problems, you need to make difficult decisions.” Here are five helpful tips to help you navigate through the challenging decisions in your life:

1. Analyze your values. Before jumping in to make any big decision, take a good, honest look at your values. The decision you ultimately make should be strongly aligned with your most important values, beliefs, and intentions. If you haven’t done so in a while, I suggest making a list of the values that are most significant to you. This outline can serve as a visual aid as you go through the decision-making process.
2. Don’t put off tough conversations. In many cases, the decisions you make will impact other people – whether it’s your team at the office or family members at home. Have you been avoiding a difficult conversation – one that, although challenging, might provide you with greater insight and clarity into an issue? If so, have that conversation, no matter how difficult. Putting it off doesn’t solve anything, it’s unfair to you and the other person, and more than likely, will allow an issue to grow even bigger.
3. Maintain focus on what really matters. Understand that no matter how much information you have – how many details you’ve gathered – there will always be more out there. Many of us get stuck in a trap of “When I get more info, I can make the decision”. It’s absolutely fine to gather data to make your decision – just don’t get so caught up that you become paralyzed by it. As Forbes.com contributor Alex McClafferty says, “You will never have complete data to make your decisions. This is OK.”
4. Put things in perspective. Yes, hindsight is 20/20. But remember that most problems aren’t as bad as they seem. Make it a goal to maintain a positive mindset no matter what the outcome. Don’t become so personally invested in a decision that you lose your ability to choose objectively. If you feel yourself becoming too emotionally invested, consider consulting a trusted coach, mentor, or friend for an unbiased perspective (which is a good idea regardless).
5. Set a date. It’s great to be able to tick those simple decisions off your to-do list and feel that satisfying sense of accomplishment for doing so. Big decisions aren’t usually made in a brief moment, but it doesn’t mean you can’t set a deadline for yourself. Set aside time each day to evaluate the pros and cons of your choices, and create a roadmap of milestones you can work toward achieving.

Remember that this is not an excuse for putting off a decision you should have made a long time ago. Think back to a time where you said, “I should have done this sooner.” If you know you need to handle something, do it. Now.

Outline your values, understand the risks involved with your decision, be objective, and maintain a confident, positive mindset as you make your choice. Every decision you make won’t be the “right one”, but you can learn from everything so you don’t make the same error again in the future.

Has a lack of confidence held you back from making decisions you know you need to make? Don’t miss my FREE confidence e-series! Sign up here, or connect with me anytime!

Images courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

Having a network of trusted advisors, mentors, and friends isn’t just for newbies – even CEOs need mentors too, according to an April 2015 HBR article. In fact, mentorship is so important the article authors even suggest, “…we are convinced that more CEOs should connect with mentors rather than assume that theirs is a burden to be shouldered alone.”

Whether you’re a student just about to embark on your career path, a small business owner ready to launch, an established professional about to take your game to a whole new level, or a prominent C-level executive, working with a knowledgeable, trustworthy advisor can mean the difference between keeping things at status quo – or ascending to new heights of success and accomplishment.

Here are five reasons why you might choose to work with a wise mentor:

1. You need advice and an unbiased perspective. When you’re very close to a situation, it’s easy to become so wrapped up in it that you lose sight of any clear perspective. Enter a trusted mentor. He or she can offer you unbiased advice gleaned from years of real-life experience. Unlike the advice you receive from your family, friends, and close colleagues, your mentor is there to provide third-party guidance free of judgements or preconceived ideas about who you are.
2. You need a sounding board. Being able to talk to someone in complete confidence is incredibly beneficial. Trust in a mentoring relationship is so critical, some CEOs are driven to seek counsel from experienced “outsiders” as opposed to mentors within the organization, according to the HBR article. It’s not just about venting – you can work with your mentor to get to the bottom of your frustration – then develop ways to solve the issues you’re facing.
3. You need confidence. If you’ve been following my blog for any length of time, you probably know how critical I feel it is to have confidence. Working with a trusted mentor can help you gain the confidence you need in a myriad of ways. You can build the confidence necessary to make tough decisions, and you might begin to see yourself from a new, more confident perspective, enabling you to speak up for what you believe in and stand your ground in challenging situations.
4. You need strategies and inspiration. Forbes.com contributor Sujan Patel shares how easy it is to fall into the “I’m on-top-of-the-world and know everything there is to know” trap. Moreover, he asserts, it’s “even easier to feel too afraid or proud to ask for help”. If you need strategies for climbing to the next level, or you’ve just hit a roadblock in your business, reaching out to someone you can trust will impact your business – and maybe even your life – in ways you never imagined.
5. You need to build new relationships or strengthen existing ones. Patel also explains how his decision to set his ego aside and reach out to a few mentors has helped him form several ongoing relationships that still exist even after a decade of success and experience. Mentor-mentee relationships can result in continuing collaborations throughout your career, which also benefits you by creating a consistent stream of resources vital to continued growth.

No matter what path you’re on in life, you’ll benefit from working with a trusted advisor who can help you develop the skills you need to advance, give you unbiased advice, build relationships, and so much more.

Do you want to learn more about how greater confidence can change your perspectives – and your life? Don’t miss my FREE confidence e-series! Sign up here, or connect with me anytime!

Images courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

We read books, take classes, participate in seminars, and keep up with the latest info on social media to gain knowledge and increase our understanding of a topic. But that’s the easy part – it’s putting all this knowledge into practice that challenges many people.

Since practice makes perfect, I’m going to share three easy ways to put all your knowledge into practice – and gain the real-life experience that counts.

Fake It…Till You Make It

How many times have you heard that phrase? HBR author Herminia Ibarra says that this effective process often breaks down as people gain experience. When we become more assured of our abilities, it feels fake, almost like we’re a “fraud” of some sort, to mimic others.

But we run the risk of sticking with what’s natural for us, never stepping outside of our comfort zone. “And that’s precisely what gets us in trouble as we hit career transitions that call for new and different ways of leading,” explains Ibarra.

New college grads just stepping into the workforce often emulate bosses or other colleagues they look up to, until they eventually find themselves growing into the role. No matter where you are in life, you can “fake it till you make it” – using your knowledge to guide you as you gain real-world experience.

Incorporate Your Knowledge

Share your knowledge by spreading the word to others – family, friends, or colleagues. This accomplishes two things: you get to share your understanding with others, possibility introducing them to a new concept or topic. And, by talking about it, you build confidence about what you’ve learned and allow it to become more ingrained in your mind.

Take action by incorporating your knowledge into your life. Implement a concept you’ve learned into your daily life. Put something new into practice at work. Make a new routine at home. Don’t be afraid to ask others for motivation to help you.

Develop Your Confidence

Ibarra tells the story of Clara, an HR specialist who was promoted to Director of Operations. This meant she would now be managing people who were once her superiors. And, she was asked to oversee functions, like finance, in which she had no proficiency.

Of course, Clara understood what was involved in being a good manager. But she said managing areas without actually understanding the intricacies of the work made her feel like a “fraud”.

Clara began to emulate people she saw as effective leaders; for instance, when she met with the finance manager, she greeted her cordially in a similar fashion she’d observed her own boss do in the past. She started trying out a blunt, direct way of speaking she’d noticed other directors using.

Even though “playing the role” was exhausting, sometimes embarrassing and even depressing, Clara kept on. Then something interesting happened: after about a year, she says, she realized she had grown into the role: “As I began to gain confidence in my own ability to do this job, I also began to fall into a leadership voice that felt more like my own and less like an imitation of my former bosses.”

Knowledge is power, and gaining more understanding about any topic is an excellent way to build your skillset. But if you don’t put this knowledge into practice, you’ll never gain the real-world experience you need to soar to new heights. Make it a point today to take action with your knowledge. After all, practice makes perfect.

Has a lack of confidence kept you from putting your knowledge into action? Don’t miss my FREE confidence e-series! Sign up here, or reach out to me via email anytime.

Images courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net