Things don’t always go right.

In your personal life and in your business world, it’s not always smooth sailing.

Yet, learning from challenges provides vital knowledge and experience for handling the next setback that’s inevitably going to come along.   The way you react to a challenge can set the stage for success or failure.

And resilience can bring rewarding results.

Turning Setbacks into Stepping Stones

Gill Corkindale writes in the Harvard Business Review about the incredible power gleaned from resiliency. At a conference he was coaching for international leaders, he learned the story of Atef, now a senior VP at a bank in the United States.

Atef grew up in the West Bank, a region of strife. He had no formal education. When Atef was 15, his father died, leaving him to provide for his family. From waiting on tables to driving taxi, Atef saved enough to educate himself and earned a scholarship to a school in the United States. He took a low paying job at a bank, worked his way up and was rewarded with a promotion at the age of 35. Sponsored by the bank, Atef earned his MBA at a premier business school.

Atef stated that facing – and overcoming – all the adversity in his early life shaped him. Whatever challenges faced him, he became determined to overcome them. That steadfastness has given him a discipline of balance and assuredness.

Today’s Students are Tomorrow’s Leaders

Atef’s story showcases how dealing positively and successfully with life’s problems as they come along go a long way in building resiliency. Yet something has happened to resiliency in today’s youth.

In Psychology Today, Peter Gray discusses how colleges are dealing with well, a rather wimpy attitude among students over common, everyday events. He cites an example of two students who called the police – and later sought counseling – when they discovered a mouse in their apartment. He notes students are regularly seeking help for everyday problems in life, from receiving a low grade on a paper to being name called.

Facing problems – not shrinking from them – breeds resiliency. It’s a basic concept in life that needs to be focused on, not tip-toed around.

Psychologist Carol Dweck discovered a striking difference between individuals who believed change was a part of growth compared to those who felt their abilities were not changeable. She found that those who believed their abilities were fluid achieved significantly better results when faced with formidable tasks.

Building Resiliency in Leadership

Becoming a successful leader means overcoming challenges and discovering innovative ways to tackle problems. If fear enters the mindset, it can paralyze our progress.

In Forbes, Megan Biro lists ways to be a more resilient leader. She cautions leaders to become aware that when things go wrong, it’s not all about you. Many factors can play into poor performance. Don’t be Atlas and attempt to carry the world on your shoulders – you can only do so much. And of course, positive thinking is a must, along with relationship building.

Within an organization, social and emotional intelligence is vital to the success of an organization. And when we develop social and emotional intelligence in the workplace, we begin to see stronger leadership and a more productive, rewarding and yes, resilient, environment.

As a leader, you’ve faced obstacles to get where you are today. Share your experiences below and inspire others to see how your resiliency led you to your success!

“The oak fought the wind and was broken, the willow bent when it must and survived.”

-Robert Jordan

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“If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.”

-John Quincy Adams

Leadership doesn’t have anything to do with titles, social status or college degrees. And while there are innumerable definitions on what exactly a leader is or what he does, there’s really no official job description.

You know an effective leader when you see him or her in action.

Perhaps Harry S. Truman summed it up best: “Men make history and not the other way around. In periods where there is no leadership, society stands still. Progress occurs when courageous, skillful leaders seize the opportunity to change things for the better.”

Take a look around. You’ll find unmotivated followers everywhere in life.

Leaders, however, stand out.

Are you one of them?

There Are Leaders, Then There Are Followers

In Entrepreneur, author Travis Bradberry offers up a checklist so that you can discover for yourself: are you a leader…or a follower? Some of his questions include:

–Can you make decisions? Followers hesitate for fear of doing wrong. Leaders make a decision, even if it may not be the right one.

–Are you flexible? Leaders seek improvement, are fluid in their thought process. Status Quo identifies the follower. They’re not motivated to do better, since they’re happy as is, where is.

–Optimistic or pessimistic? Followers see the bad in situations, without recognizing potential benefits. Leaders see possibilities, growth, and new opportunities.

One of my personal favorite quotes comes from Rafael Echeverria, Ph.D.: “Leaders are people who normally declare possible what other people do not. This is precisely what makes them leaders.”

What Skills Do Leaders Possess?

Probably one of the most important traits of a leader is her ability to inspire people. Peter Economy writes that leaders inspire by envisioning a goal and helping people understand how to get there. A leader supports people so that they’re willing to stand up for themselves and take risks, to offer new ideas.

Leaders have confidence in themselves and integrity. Their communication skills are top notch. They’re not afraid to make decisions. And as Lydia Dishman in Fast Company writes, leaders are “focused, decisive, engaging, fearless…”

But are these traits seen differently in men and women?

Male versus Female Leaders

While all of the traits listed above are identified with leaders, oftentimes in men they’re seen as a plus, but in a woman…not so much, according to Dishman. She cites the story of Jill Abramson, who was let go as the first female executive editor of the New York Times. Even though she oversaw a staff that won 8 Pulitzer Prizes in less than four years, she was labeled stubborn and pushy.

Most political leaders and Fortune 500 CEOs are men, according to Ronald E. Riggio, Ph.D. in Psychology Today. Yet Riggio writes the world would be better if the leaders were women. He says it’s simple.

“Most of our leaders fail…CEO tenure is very short, and most are fired for poor performance,” writes Riggio. He cites studies by Dr. Alice Eagly, a gender and leadership scholar that found women are more likely to possess the leadership skills associated with success. “They care more about developing their followers, they listen to them and stimulate them to think ‘outside the box’, they are more inspirational, AND they are more ethical,” asserts Eagly.

Share Your Leadership Story

Women indeed possess the necessary skills to take on leadership roles. Yet despite strides in education and other areas, women still lag way behind men when it comes to obtaining leadership positions.

What obstacles did you encounter as you attempted to garner a top job? Statistics are great facts, but let’s hear your personal story. By sharing what we’ve experienced, perhaps we can pave the way for more women to enter into leadership roles.

The specific definition of what a leader is may vary widely – but most people would agree that successful leaders have at least one thing in common, and that’s confidence. Gain the tools you need to build your own confidence levels by signing up to receive my FREE confidence series right here!

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“You can do anything, but not everything.”
― David Allen

We all have days when we scold ourselves for not getting enough done. We mutter to ourselves about not having enough hours in the day…and wonder how other people seem to handle everything.

Just how do successful people stay productive and in control of their lives?

It pretty much comes down to one basic concept we all struggle with at times in our lives: self-control.

Get self under control – and other things naturally fall into place.

The Hallmark of Top Performers

In Entrepreneur, Travis Bradberry, co-author of Emotional Intelligence 2.0 and President at TalentSmart, writes that after testing over a million people, a study showed top performers are folks who score high in emotional intelligence – and the hallmark of emotional intelligence is self-control.

But self-control is hard to keep in tow. Self tends to make excuses pretty easily, like no problem with that second piece of chocolate cake. And that employee who came in late the third time in a week, well, it can wait until next week to address.

And as Bradberry so aptly states, “When your self-control leaves something to be desired, so does your productivity.”

So if self-control is so important, how can we strengthen ourselves?

How to Improve Your Productivity

After reviewing data from his study, Bradberry came up with a list to help boost productivity. When your self-control slips – forgive yourself and move on. Rehashing your failure only brings on negativity. Learn from it.

And here’s one we can all relate to: Don’t say ‘yes’ unless you really want to. According to Bradberry, saying no is a huge issue for many people. Saying no is also an important act of self-control, an act that means you respect yourself.

Among other strategies Bradberry offers: staying positive and focusing on solutions. And simple things like eating, sleeping and exercise are on his list, too, along with meditation. All these suggestions go a long way in helping you to be in control…and thereby productive.

David Allen, author of Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity, offers simple tips to help boost your productivity. Always have something to write with, Allen suggests. “Your head is not designed for holding ideas.”

This is so true. For instance, if you’re about to meet with a high-level leader, I always recommend that you get clear on your intention by putting what you want to say on paper beforehand.

And, “Pay attention to what has your attention,” says Allen – since that’s a sign of an issue is gnawing at you – and you need to address it.

No matter what strategy you use, it’s important to remember one thing: there is no single “best” time management tool that will help every person to stay productive. According to time management expert Dr. Sarah Reiff-Hekking, it’s more about a process of discovering, experimenting and learning your unique way.

Don’t Allow Toxic People to Drain You

Toxic people are tough – often impossible to understand and difficult to deal with. If you’re dealing with toxic people frequently, taking steps to deal with them is important for your own sense of balance, positivity and productivity.

Again, Bradberry comes to the rescue with tips to deal with toxic people. He simply explains: “Think of it this way: if the complainer were smoking, would you sit there all afternoon inhaling the second-hand smoke?” Distance yourself from toxic people. Set boundaries. Keep focusing on solutions, not problems.

We can deal with toxic people…and learn from them:

Be thankful for all the rude, obnoxious, and difficult people you meet in life. They serve as important reminders of how NOT to be.

-Arlene Enego

Staying positive and productive can be a minute-by-minute effort – I know! As a business leader, how have you dealt with keeping yourself focused and getting things done?

Want a quick weekly burst of inspiration that will inspire you to challenge yourself, gain a new perspective, and have some fun in the process? Don’t miss out on my BOLD Move of the Week. Click here to get instant access.

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In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.

-Theodore Roosevelt

The ability (or not) to make decisions can make or break any business leader.

For some, it can be the greatest hurdle to overcome. Many will procrastinate, contemplate all the ‘what ifs’ that might happen…and then …overwhelmed with over thinking, never make any decision at all.

And that decision – no decision – can have long-term negative consequences not only for the leader, but for the organization as a whole.

Good Decisions, Bad Decisions

Sometimes our best attribute can be our worst downfall, according to Stephen Key in Entrepreneur.   Paying attention to detail is a great skill, but obsessing over everything can dim your focus. “You can lose sight of the goal at hand,” says Key. “You have to keep pushing!”

No one person ever has all the answers. We’re human. We make mistakes. But leaders are willing to take risks, to follow what they feel is right. And they go with it.

Remember those multiple choice tests in school? Teachers advised to go with your first choice, your “gut instinct”…the answer you jumped to…the one that stood out. More times than not, it was the right answer!

But when you obsessed over the multiple choices, and fretted that it might be this, or it might be that, you could feel yourself getting anxious. And when you changed your choice…after working yourself into a mode of over-thinking…you discovered you chose the wrong answer.

Accept the fact that being nervous is nothing to be ashamed of. But don’t let it stall your ability to make a decision. Remember, even making no decision at all is still a choice – in this case, it’s the choice not to decide.

Decisions…Decisions…Decisions

In Entrepreneur, Darrah Brustein writes about her conversation with Jeffrey Shinabarger, author of Yes or No: How Your Everyday Decisions Will Forever Change Your Life. Shinabarger explains that a person’s decision-making process shows their strengths – and weaknesses.

“The hope is to surround yourself with others that make decisions in different styles to make a more informed and thoughtful choice for moments of tension or transition. When we understand our styles better, we are given the opportunity to invite others from other unique perspectives into our process.”

Everyone comes to their decision in their own way, sometimes using stats and data to assist them, while others simply rely on their ‘gut’ instinct. Some choose lists as ways to reach a decision, while some consult with others to gather a consensus.

No matter which strategy you choose, decision making can have paramount effects on your business. So if you have your own unique way of making choices, how do you know you’ve made a good decision?

Making the Choice

Business News Daily cites Gayle Abbott, president of Strategic Alignment Partners human resources consulting firm, who offers a 4-point strategy when making a decision: After you’ve identified the problem, investigate possible solutions. Then delve into those solutions that would be most likely to solve the problem and then make your decision.

As Jeff Boss writes in Entrepreneur, good decisions have positive effects. They further opportunity. People want to duplicate a good choice, and that’s a sound environment for business.

While it may be difficult at first, your confidence builds as your decisions prove to be the right ones. Sure, we sometimes stumble along the way…we’re human. But discovering that we are capable of making sound decisions gives us a boost that has positive effects for us – and for our business.

Do you have a unique way to come to a decision? Sharing it might help others!

Build the foundation you need to make all your decisions with confidence and clarity…sign up to receive my FREE confidence series right here!

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Tis the season for dark and dreary, ghosts and goblins, sounds that are eerie!

A season of no cheer – ‘tis full of fear!

Happy Halloween!

Childhood! When you really believed you saw the boogeyman under your bed…when you were terrified of the dark…and thunder and lightning caused you to dive under your thick comforter…

Ahh…such simple fears faded as you grew up – but were replaced with bigger fears that even adulthood couldn’t conquer!

Fear. An apprehensive, foreboding feeling. As adults, we are full of fears. Fear of being alone. Fear of failure. Fear of speaking in public. While we mature in many ways as we live our lives, it often seems fear is lurking behind the corner, ready to put up a roadblock.

For as children tremble and fear everything in the blind darkness, so we in the light sometimes fear what is no more to be feared than the things children in the dark hold in terror and imagine will come true.
-Titus Lucretius Carus

Failure – An Essential Ingredient in Success

Every successful person has plenty of failures behind her. Instead of being paralyzed by fearing failure, successful people keep at it. As Winston Churchill once stated, “Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm.”

Plenty of inventions, discoveries and innovations wouldn’t have been possible if those responsible for bringing them to fruition gave in to their fear – mainly, the fear of failure. They were willing to keep on, take a risk, and try what others may have told them was impossible.

As Ira Kalb wrote in Business Insider, there are plenty of examples of failures turned into success: Macy failed seven times before his New York store became successful. Record holder Babe Ruth had a whopping 714 home runs – but struck out 1,330 times!

Overcoming Fear

Are you finding that your career and personal life is being squashed because of fear?

There are ways to overcome fear of failure – the trick is to find the strategies that work best for you. Elle Kaplan, CEO of Lexion Capital Management, suggests that you can develop your confidence by rising up from your failures. The first step is Acceptance.

Accept you don’t know everything – after all, every expert was once a beginner.

The second step is Adjust. Even the best drawn-up plans aren’t perfect – be willing to adjust where needed. And the third step? Adapt. Failure isn’t the end of the world. Learn from it.

So there it is…three simple steps to help you bust through all that fear:

Accept. Adjust. Adapt.

If you think success is everything, think again. Success can be a poor teacher, in fact. Kalb cites Kodak, pointing to their tremendous success with film – but not following through with the digital technology that their own engineers pioneered. “The company was too invested in protecting its successful past and too afraid to enter the uncharted waters of the touch screen smartphone,” he explains.

In a Forbes article, Maggie Warrell acknowledges the potency of fear and its adverse impact on business. Based on her extensive background, Warrell developed what she terms the “Culture of Courage” to move professionals to successful outcomes. She calls it Engage-Inspire-Embolden. By engaging with employees, inspiring them and providing a safety net for them, they’re able to step outside their safety net – fostering new ideas and successes!

One step at a time…

History books are chockfull of successful inventors and achievers. And if there’s one common thread among all their stories, it’s that success didn’t come easily – or instantly. Failure presented itself along the way many times…so they adjusted, re-aligned and moved forward.

Basketball great Michael Jordan summed it up: “I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”

You can too!

Gain the confidence you need to tackle the terror barrier head on and accomplish what you want in your business and your life. Sign up for my free confidence e-series by clicking here!

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