What makes a great leader in the 21st century? I’ve met many, and they stand out. They are women and men who are preparing themselves not for the comfortable predictability of yesterday,but also for the realities of today and all of those unknown possibilities of tomorrow.

–Roselinde Torres

Leaders make mistakes too, just like everyone else. But when a leader makes a blunder, a lot more people take notice. I’m going to share three big mistakes leaders make – and present a more effective leadership approach instead.

Mistake #1: Putting self before others. A video blog from the Harvard Business Review highlighted some of the biggest mistakes leaders can make by featuring insights from prominent academics and business thinkers. Not surprisingly, many of the insights given pointed to putting self-interests first.

Leaders who put “self” first may become overly smitten with their own vision, stepping on others to get what they want and failing to accept responsibility for their own actions.

Effective Leadership Solution: Forbes.com contributor Sandy Styer says in an article that one theme exists through all of the ten biggest mistakes named in the Harvard Business Review video blog. The leaders who make these mistakes forgot a critical thing – that they are in their position to be of service to a greater good. The remedy, says Styer, is a constant focus on service, therefore transitioning from self-orientation to service-orientation.

Mistake #2: Taking the easy way out. This encompasses a variety of actions – using the “Band-Aid” approach to apply a quick fix to a more serious problem, failing to set goals, and avoiding change (or reacting hastily to it when it’s encountered).

Effective Leadership Solution: As an Inc.com article aptly states, “The trouble is that in our zeal to fix things quickly and move on to the next fire to be fought, we often overlook the lasting solution that may take longer to develop.”

Using the “Band-Aid” approach – applying a quick fix to “solve” a problem – is like taking one step forward to take ten steps back. Don’t do it. An effective leader recognizes that change is inevitable. She is goal-oriented, setting realistic goals and reevaluating as necessary. She plans for the future and conquers a problem by developing strategic a strategic solution, not by sweeping it under the rug.

Mistake #3: Lacking authenticity. We’ve all met that person who has a “Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde” persona, meaning he takes on one identity at work, and an entirely different one outside of the office. He says one thing and does another, fails to meet obligations, and has a “do as I say, not as I do” attitude.

Effective Leadership Solution: As a Forbes.com article says, there are many theories out there about what makes an authentic leader. Most would agree, however, that an authentic leader is aware – aware of her strengths, weakness – and her emotions. An authentic leader knows when to lead with her heart and not just her mind. She’s driven by the mission and goals of her organization and focused on long-term results.

Concluding Thoughts

Simon Sinek, in his TED How Great Leaders Inspire Action presentation, suggests, “There are leaders and there are those who lead. Leaders hold a position of power or authority, but those who lead inspire us.”

How do you identify a great leader? An outstanding leader isn’t someone who never makes mistakes. He’s someone who knows he’s not invincible, who leads authentically. People follow him not because they feel forced to, but because they actually want to.

Do you want to learn how to embrace a more effective leadership style? Apply for a Bolder Moves Discovery Session. Or, contact me via email or by visiting my website, BolderMoves.com, anytime!

 Image courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

Why Developing Confidence Matters

It’s been said women are their own worst enemies, and when it comes to developing confidence, this statement is painfully true. In an article called “The Confidence Gap”, the authors note that in a 2011 UK survey by the Institute of Leadership and Management, half of the women who responded reported self-doubt about their job performance and careers, compared with less than a third of male respondents.

“The statistics are well known: at the top, especially, women are nearly absent, and our numbers are barely increasing. Half a century since women first forced open the boardroom doors, our career trajectories still look very different from men’s.”

-Katty Kay and Claire Shipman, The Confidence Gap

More and more evidence demonstrates just how destructive lack of confidence really is. Success, the authors state, is associated just as closely with confidence as it is with competence.

Find out what I recommend for building confidence – at any age – below.

Confident Girls Grow Up to Become Confident Women

Girls who have a strong level of confidence tend to feel secure in themselves, so if you’re a parent, helping to develop confidence in your daughter from a young age is key.

According to a PBS article, powerful girls learn to be proactive, make positive choices, think critically, express their feelings – and acknowledge the thoughts and feelings of others in caring ways.

Here are three of my favorite tips to help you raise a powerful daughter:

1. Guide your daughter to identify her values. Identifying – and aligning – with core values builds a strong foundation for confidence. Encourage your daughter to make a list of her most important values – and let her know that she can always refer back to them.
2. Let her develop her problem-solving skills. This doesn’t mean you should leave your daughter to figure out everything on her own – but it does mean that you should use your judgment. There will be times when you’ll need to step in and lend a helping hand, and others where it’s best to let her figure something out on her own. Give her the chance to build her repertoire of problem-solving tactics. She’ll develop confidence – and an independent, “can do” attitude.
3. Support her as she discovers her passion(s). Whether your daughter likes to play the violin or skateboard with the guys, allow her to discover – and develop – her passions. When she finds something she enjoys and that she’s good at, she’ll naturally build competence AND confidence – a win-win!

Developing Confidence: The Grown-Up Version

What do you do if you’re struggling with self-esteem and self-confidence? When you’re older, you’ve lived for years with potentially limiting beliefs and behaviors, so it’s going to take some work to start living your confident best.

Many of the same tips I mentioned above – identifying core values, developing problem-solving skills, and discovering what truly drives you – also apply when you’re an adult.

Here are three more tips I recommend to help women of all ages :

1. Change the way you look at yourself. Or, as one author puts it, Photoshop your self-image! You have a mental “image” of yourself – and especially if you struggle with low self-esteem, it might not be a very good one. So play graphic designer – with your mind! Limiting beliefs are no match for your retouching brush! Use all your best tools to paint a new, more positive image of the confident women you know you can be!
2. Banish the negativity. Replace negative thoughts with positive ones – and over time, the fresh thoughts you’ve been cultivating will blossom into a new and improved you! If you think this sounds Pollyanna, just give it a try. Pick one part of yourself that you think negatively of, and replace it with a more positive thought. As you do this, you may be surprised at the results. Don’t just think positively – act it. If you have to, fake it till you make it!
3. Start with the small stuff. Don’t set yourself up for failure by trying to reach an unattainable goal. Instead, start small, setting reasonable milestones for yourself. If you want to start running again – but you haven’t laced up your running shows in over a decade, you wouldn’t start by running in a marathon, would you? When you’re working to develop confidence, follow the same principle – start where you start and work your way up from there. Don’t forget to celebrate all your accomplishments, no matter how small.

Has a lack of confidence been holding you back from achieving your professional goals? Apply for a Bolder Moves Discovery Session. Or, contact me via email or by visiting my website, BolderMoves.com, anytime!

Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Okay, frightening might be a bit of a strong word choice in the spirit of Halloween, but there is no doubt that these are BAD. Join me as I share some of the worst leadership “qualities” from the Leadership Hall of Shame. Then read on as I counter with a much more effective leadership style.

In a Forbes.com article on identifying bad leaders, author Mike Myatt aptly states, “It’s important to realize that just because someone holds a position of leadership, doesn’t necessarily mean they should.”

Frightful Leadership Quality: If something doesn’t turn out as planned, it must be someone else’s fault -because it’s definitely not yours.

Effective Leadership Quality: If you want to be an effective leader, practice accountability. This means taking responsibility in good times and bad. Set a strong leadership example by being accountable to your team at all times. When others see that you’re not afraid to take the blame, they’ll respect you all the more for it.

Frightful Leadership Quality: When someone reaches out to you with a new idea, your go-to phrase is always, “But that’s the way we’ve always done it.”

Effective Leadership Quality: If you’re easily satisfied with the status quo and aren’t willing to think outside of the box, don’t expect to be considered a great leader anytime soon. A much more effective leadership style involves a focus on innovation and positive change, along with a willingness to be open to the ideas of others. As Myatt suggests, “…Leaders who build a static business doom themselves to failure.”

Frightful Leadership Quality: You have tunnel vision – or no vision at all.

Effective Leadership Quality: It’s not enough to know what your organization is about or how you do business. You must be able to answer the “why” question – why do you do what you do? You’d be amazed how many people can’t answer that question. One of the most effective leadership qualities you can have is a strong vision. If you don’t have a clear, sustainable vision, you’ll never be able to lead your team to success.

Frightful Leadership Quality: (You think) you know it all. Your opinions are second to none, and you wouldn’t dream of questioning yourself.

Effective Leadership Quality: The most effective leaders know that learning is a never-ending process, and they’re abundantly aware of how much they still need to learn. Overconfidence, a big ego, or an overly arrogant personality are not ideal qualities in anyone – especially not in a leader. Be open to learning, engage with your team so they can contribute their ideas, and accept that you won’t always be right all the time.

Frightful Leadership Quality: Communication with your team – what good would that do? After all, in your eyes, they’re your subordinates and you just don’t have the time to chit-chat anyway.

Effective Leadership Quality: One of the most effective leadership skills you can practice is excellent communication. Get to know your team! Share a little about yourself with them – and ask them to do the same. Show your team that you really care – if your staff gives you a birthday or Christmas card (or gift) and you don’t reciprocate, how do you think that makes them feel?

We all know that leadership isn’t about showing love all the time. But expressing kindness and conveying empathy where appropriate establishes you as a strong leader others will look up to.

No one is perfect, and in truth, we all have areas in our personality that could use a little polishing. If you want to be an effective leader, lead others by example by giving your very best at all times.

Images courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Stress is a real confidence crusher. It’s hard to feel your confident best when you’re under stress – this is especially true when you’re a working mom. As if you didn’t already know how stressful life can be as a working mom, here are some stats:

• A recent post on Mommifried.com noted that working moms are more stressed and spend more time multitasking at home than working dads, according to a study in the American Sociological Review.
• According to Fox News, a recent study published in the Journal of Family Psychology found that women who reported high job strain and high parenting stress had markedly higher cortisol levels on workdays. Over time, high cortisol levels place women at risk for exhaustion, cardiovascular problems, or other mental or physical health ailments.
• A 2013 article called Modern Parenthood cited a Pew Research Center survey that said 56% of working moms feel stressed about balancing work and family life,

As a busy working mom myself, I’m sharing five of my favorite tips to lower stress and gain the confidence you need to shine!

1. Take a time out – for you. This isn’t the same as indulging in yourself, and it’s not like meditating, either. When you’re busy mom, it can be hard to step away from it all – even for a few minutes. If you want to lower stress – and thereby gain confidence – taking a time out is critical. Stepping away from a stressful situation for five minutes can help you regroup and return with a fresh perspective, or at least, a calmer mind.
2. Delegate tasks. For many moms, I know this might be the most challenging tip of all. Many of us want to give life – work, family, home – our very best, so asking for help can seem like a failure. It’s not. Don’t be afraid to ask your partner or significant other for a helping hand, and if your kids are old enough, invite them to partake in helping too. Try organizing tasks and then create a list of household responsibilities so everyone does their fair share.
3. Indulge in yourself. When was the last time you did something for yourself? If you can spend even 30 minutes a few times a week doing something you love, it’s a great start. Embrace one of your hobbies, buy something you enjoy, or plan a girl’s night out with your friends. Find something to look forward to! If you’re on a budget, you don’t have to go out and buy a Chanel blazer – some luxurious bath salts will do just fine!
4. Meditate. While there are many types of meditation, the idea is to focus your attention and reduce or eliminate the stream of thoughts constantly flowing through your mind. When you meditate, allow thoughts to come and go without judgment, and return to center. Start with just 5 minutes every day – you might be surprised at the benefits, which include a greater focus on the present moment, better stress management skills, more clarity, and a stronger ability to cope with life and all the challenges that come with it..
5. Let go. Have you ever stopped to wonder why you feel stressed to begin with? If you really consider it, you’ll probably find that you feel out of control, inadequate, or like you’ve failed. In reality, life is far from perfect. Start with the small things by telling yourself it’s ok the next time a stressor pops up. It’s ok if your daughter is five minutes late to her dance class or you forgot to mail your mother-in-law a birthday card. Life happens. Flow with it.

Each of the tips above share one thing in common – they give you the opportunity to release yourself from stress. When you feel more in control, you’ll finally be able to work on gaining the confidence you need to master all areas your life.

Images courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net

What makes one leader so successful while another fails miserably, despite great potential? While many factors influence business success, great leaders often have several things in common.

Successful business leaders often have a clear purpose, live their passion, persevere despite obstacles, serve others, and take risks. Below, I’ll delve into five of my favorite tips for business success.

1. Discover your purpose. Great leaders don’t just know what they’re doing and how to do it – they know why they’re doing what they do. Their work has meaning that goes beyond dollars and cents – it’s a way of life – it’s their cause, their belief, their purpose.

In the TED presentation, How Great Leaders Inspire Action, Simon Sinek says very few people – or organizations – know why they do what they do. Surprising, isn’t it? When you don’t know why you’re doing what you do, you communicate from the outside in. Inspired leaders and organizations – no matter what their size or industry – know their purpose, and thus, communicate from the inside out.

2. Live your passion. In his presentation, 8 Secrets of Success, Richard St. John says passion is the first thing that leads to success. St. John interviewed hundreds of successful people over several years to find out what made them successful and found that business success starts with following your passion.

If you’re doing something “because it pays the bills” or “it’s just a job”, you can be assured you’re not following your passion. Let your passion drive you, and the rest will fall into place.

3. Push yourself. Success in business or in any area of life doesn’t come easily – not often, at least. Don’t expect to get something for nothing – if you want to become a true business success, you’re going to have to work for it.

Pushing yourself can mean a lot of things. We all struggle with setbacks and challenges – you might have to push yourself past feelings of inadequacy or a lack of self-confidence.

Just because you’re living your passion doesn’t mean growth stops – push yourself to become a master of your work. Be persistent – push past failures, shatter self-doubts, and continually seek ways to grow your knowledge.

As St. John amusingly suggests, be a “workafrolic” – not a workaholic – work hard, but have fun working!

4. Serve others. No list of business success tips would be complete without this one – actually, an entire post could be written on the importance of serving others. In a sense, the foundation of business success is about successfully serving others.

When kids tell St. John they want to become millionaires, he responds by telling them they have to serve others something of value to get rich.

Authentic leaders don’t center on just getting rich – they embrace the entire concept of serving others. Serving others isn’t just about delivering a great product or service – it’s about being a good listener, taking time out to connect with others, and practicing empathy. Essentially, put people, not profits, first.

5. Be a risk-taker. Roselinde Torres, in her What it Takes to Be a Great Leader presentation on TED, says great leaders dare to be different – they don’t just babble on about taking risks – they actually take that leap of faith. “Are you courageous enough to abandon a practice that has made you successful in the past?” Torres asks.

We’ve all heard phrases like “that’s the way it’s always been done” or “why reinvent the wheel?” – if you want to be an effective leader, you must challenge the status quo. Even if an approach has made you successful in the past, you absolutely cannot become complacent.

Prepare to withstand naysayers who tell you your idea isn’t worthwhile, that it wouldn’t work, or that it’s just plain inconceivable. Your ability to think outside of the box and to confidently defy those who tell you “you can’t” will differentiate you in a crowded marketplace – and others will take notice.